wordofgod

Thursday, August 15, 2024

It's Chemistry! Practical Advice for Protecting Your Marriage from an Affair

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

Most Christians enter into marriage thinking neither spouse will have an extramarital affair, but it does happen as we sadly know. Here is some practical advice for protecting and strengthening your marriage.

Countless affairs are ignited by “chemistry.”

Extramarital affairs can start because of sexual chemistry—and Christians should never underestimate the power of this kind of chemistry. We hear stories of pastors having affairs, and we wonder how that could happen. Of course he knew better—he is a pastor! What a hypocrite! Well, most of the time, it’s likely that sexual chemistry ignited the fuse.

It is helpful to recognize the role hormones play when it comes to the feelings of sexual attraction humans experience. According to the research institute ASDN (Atomic Scale Design Network),

First attraction, first "sparks" in the air followed by falling in love are caused by combination of three neurochemicals: phenylethylamine, norepinephrine and dopamine. Later stages of long relationships are guided by another two: oxytocin and serotonin….Phenylethylamine (PEA), acts as a releasing agent of norepinephrine and dopamine. The first attraction causes us to produce more PEA, which results in those dizzying feelings associated with romantic love. Large quantities of PEA increase both physical and emotional energy and at the same time release more dopamine.

Be acutely aware of the difference between feelings of friendship and sexual chemistry.

To be clear, this kind of chemistry is not a deep, abiding feeling of friendship for someone of the opposite sex. According to psychologist Dario Nardi in his article "PEA—The Hormone of Love," the hormones involved in feelings of sexual attraction result in infatuation and produce sensations that include giddiness, "butterflies" in the stomach, sleeplessness, and a narrow focus on a particular person.

"Chemistry" can ignite suddenly and unexpectedly. What was once a nice friendship can become sexually charged in an instant.

Sexual chemistry can be even more powerful when the illicit relationship has appealing aspects that are missing in your marriage, because you may be starved for them and not even realize it. Yet, as Nardi explains, the effects of hormones such as phenylethylamine (PEA), norepinephrine, and dopamine don’t last forever:

For better or worse, after a certain period of eighteen months to four years the body builds up a tolerance to the effects of PEA and related hormones.

Even though the feelings of attraction that are produced by hormones such as PEA are likely to diminish over time, the destructive effects of an affair remain. Sometimes a marriage can still be saved at that point—but not always.

This reduction in certain hormones may also be a significant reason why married couples tend to struggle with feeling as romantic with each other as they did when they were dating. It’s good to be aware of this, so you don’t think there is something wrong because these feelings have diminished.

Flee from inappropriate sexual chemistry.

You should never play with fire and sexual chemistry is no different in that aspect, as both can produce disastrous results. If you find you have sexual chemistry with someone who is not your spouse—or the person is married and you are single—the best thing you can do is stay away from that person as much as possible. We find a good example of this in the Bible where Joseph had to repeatedly refuse the advances of Potiphar’s wife and eventually had to flee from her presence to avoid committing sexual sin (Gen. 39).

Sexual chemistry is extremely powerful, with effects that have been compared to that of taking highly addictive drugs such as cocaine. It is nothing to be dealt with lightly, as can be seen from the havoc and wrecked lives left in its wake. In some circumstances, you may even need to quit a job and find another one to remove yourself from temptation. If you want to protect your marriage and/or someone else’s marriage, you need to—and must—avoid igniting or fueling chemistry.

There is an “80/20 Rule” that occurs in many marriages.

Most of you have probably heard of the 80/20 rule, also known as the Pareto principle. For instance, in an organization, typically 20 percent of the workers produce 80 percent of the results, and so forth.

Marriages can follow an 80/20 rule as well, but in a different way from the Pareto rule. You may love 80 percent of your spouse, but you wish you could change the other 20 percent (okay, maybe more!). You get so comfortable that you take the 80 percent for granted and just get used to the 20 percent not being there. When you experience sexual chemistry with someone who also has desirable qualities that are missing in your spouse, you are facing a very explosive situation.

After the sexual chemistry in an extramarital affair has died down, it’s not uncommon for a person to realize that the 20 percent they were missing before the affair wasn’t nearly as important as the 80 percent they had with their spouse—but didn’t appreciate.

Work on your “20 percent” to strengthen your marriage.

Along with being faithful in prayer, church attendance, reading and studying God’s word, and submitting yourself to godly accountability, a practical step you can take to protect your relationship with your spouse from an extramarital affair is to reflect on the “80/20” in your marriage. Maybe you feel it’s the other way around and there’s 80 percent you wish was different about your spouse, not just 20—hopefully, this isn’t the case. If it is, you would likely benefit from sound pastoral and professional marriage counseling. It’s worth it, so please make the effort. If your spouse won’t go, then go alone if you can.

I want to encourage you to be proactive regarding that 20 percent and not just say, “Well, this is how my life is.”

First, it’s good to consider that there may be 20 percent of you that your spouse might like to be different. And you probably have a good idea what that "20 percent" is.

Work on it. Try to improve. Show your spouse that it matters to you. Show that your spouse matters to you by making the effort. Make it also a matter of earnest prayer, and especially consider praying together for these areas of your marriage.

Then your spouse might start working on their 20 percent. Your spouse may know what that is, but you might need to share what it is gently—not all at once—but here and there without overwhelming them, in an encouraging way, giving affirmation when your spouse does something to improve in those areas.

Someone made a good point that even the 20 percent you’re not crazy about in your spouse—as long as it’s not harmful in any way—is part of what makes them who they are. If you can appreciate to some extent the aspects about your spouse that are not your ideal, there is grace in doing so.

Don't ever settle for an "okay" marriage.

While appropriate sexual chemistry is a beautiful gift from God, always be on guard against inappropriate sexual chemistry and all its destructive consequences:

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. (1 Cor. 6:18-20)

It is critical to note that not all marriages can be saved, due to the presence of sin in this world. There are valid and necessary reasons for divorce, and this is why all Christian couples should be under the care and oversight of faithful pastors and elders in a local church so that they can better navigate the complexities of a marital union.

As much as is honorable in the sight of God, your marriage is worth working on, cherishing, fighting for, building, and strengthening as long as you both are living. This is where character and fortitude are developed. Your marriage matters to God, your children, your extended family, your church, and society as a whole.

Don’t ever just settle for an "okay" marriage, because it can be—and should be—so much more to the glory of God in all.

This article has been updated since its original publishing date of March 12, 2019.

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

Are Red Letters Better?

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

Some Bible translations print the words Jesus spoke out loud in red letters, which may lead people to think that those parts of Scripture are more important than others. Is this true?

Jesus is the Word of God.

Many people think that only the words Jesus spoke out loud during his physical time on the earth are his actual speech; yet, the Bible tells us that Jesus himself is the Word of God:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made….And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:1–3, 14)

All Scripture is God-breathed.

The apostle Paul writes the following to his young charge, Timothy, about the divine authorship of the Bible:

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. (2 Tim. 3:16–17)

The entire Bible is God’s revelation to us.

The apostle Peter affirms Scripture is not the result of human interpretation but is instead God’s revealed word to us:

Knowing this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture comes from someone's own interpretation. For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. (2 Pet. 1:20-21)

During his encounter with Satan in the wilderness, Jesus pointed to God’s command to Israel in Deuteronomy regarding the importance of every word of Scripture:

But he answered, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” (Matt. 4:4; see also Deut. 8:3)

Thus, the entire Bible is God’s revelation to us—the teaching Jesus wants us to know.

God has given us every single word of Scripture for a good purpose.

Theologian Robert Farrar Capon writes about the importance of not neglecting even the most seemingly inconsequential word in the Bible:

“I do believe the Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments to be the Word of God and to contain all things necessary to salvation....” So read the words of the ordination oath that I took many years ago and that I am still happy to keep….Precisely because it forbids the neglect of even the oddest bit of Scripture, I find it nothing less than the taproot of an endlessly refreshing openness to all the wonderful, perplexing, and intriguing words by which the Word himself has spoken. (Capon, Kingdom, Grace, Judgment: Paradox, Outrage, and Vindication in the Parables of Jesus, Kindle Locations 46-50)

While some people pick and choose the verses in the Bible that they think are most important, God has given us every single word for a good purpose. Rejoice that the Bible is filled with knowledge of God and wisdom to live life well, but rejoice most of all that the Bible communicates to us God’s redemptive plan in Christ—all we need to know about Jesus our Savior.

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Tuesday, August 13, 2024

Dunking, Sprinkling, or Pouring: Is There a Preferred Mode of Baptism?

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

Editor’s note: BCL reached out to historical theologian R. Scott Clark regarding the preferred manner of administration of the sacrament of baptism, and he has graciously provided the following helpful insights on the topic.

I thought it would be useful to explain how Reformed denominations think about Christian baptism generally and why I ended up where I did on the mode of baptism. To be sure, the confessional Presbyterian and Reformed churches take no official position on the mode of baptism. Effusion or sprinkling is the dominant mode in our churches, but it is regarded as a matter adiaphora (morally indifferent).

For most of Christian history, the dominant practice was either effusion or emulsion.

Our English word mode is derived from the Latin noun modus, which meant “measure” or, derivatively, a kind. Our English word refers to manner or the way something occurs. In the context of baptism mode refers to the manner of administration. There are three modes: immersion (dunking), effusion (pouring), and emulsion (sprinkling).

For most of Christian history, the dominant practice was either effusion or emulsion. The supposition, based upon the size of early baptismal fonts, that the ancient church immersed is ill founded. The earliest baptismal fonts were large enough for the minister and the baptismal candidate to stand. It was a symbolic representation of the Jordan but the mode was effusion. Over the centuries, the fonts became smaller but effusion or emulsion remained the dominant mode. According to B. B. Warfield, even the early Anabaptists practiced pouring or sprinkling.

The history of Christian practice is not decisive, but it lends weight to effusion and sprinkling.

For many, the phrase “up from the water” (Matt. 3:16) necessarily means “Jesus was immersed and he came out of the water”; that, however, is an assumption.

It is widely assumed among Baptists that the biblical mode of baptism was immersion. Most cannot think of John the Baptist or of our Lord’s baptism without thinking of immersion. Consider Matthew 3:13–17:

Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to John, to be baptized by him. John would have prevented him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?” But Jesus answered him, “Let it be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Then he consented. And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

For many, the phrase “up from the water” necessarily means “Jesus was immersed and he came out of the water.” That, however, is an assumption. What the text says is “after being baptized, immediately Jesus went up from the water” (βαπτισθεὶς δὲ ὁ Ἰησοῦς ⸉εὐθὺς ἀνέβη⸊ ἀπὸ τοῦ ὕδατος; NA28). Go look at a stream or a river. Is it on the exact same geometric plane as the ground around it? Ordinarily one goes down to a stream or a river. One comes back up from the stream. Were one to go fishing (not fly fishing), one would go down to the stream. When one is done fishing, one comes back up from the stream. Is the fisherman necessarily immersed in the stream? Only if things go very badly. So, the case for the Baptist presumption is not as strong as is typically assumed.

Philip and the Eunuch “went down into the water” (Acts 8:38) and “went up from the water” (Acts 8:39); we may not assume immersion.

“Going down” does not necessarily refer to immersion. I know of two places where one goes up to arrive and down to leave without geographically going up or down. One is “up at Oxford” (or, if things go badly in school, one is “sent down”). The same is roughly true of Jerusalem. One always goes up to Jerusalem and when one leaves one does down. So, going up or down does not, in those cases, refer to immersion.

We should read the narrative surrounding the baptism of the Ethiopian Eunuch (Acts 8:38-39) in the same way. It says “and when they came up out of the water” (ὅτε δὲ ἀνέβησαν ἐκ τοῦ ὕδατος, πνεῦμα). Just as John the Baptist and our Lord stood in water so that the Baptizer could ritually pour water over Jesus’ head, so too Philip and the Eunuch stood in water. They came up away from or out of the water when they were done. We may not assume immersion.

The two great baptisms in the Old Testament give us insight regarding the biblical mode of baptism.

One of the things that helped me see that immersion was probably not the biblical mode of baptism are the two great baptisms in the Old Testament. First, consider the Noahic flood. The church was saved in the midst of the flood waters (1 Pet 3:20-21), which were a judgment against the world, by God, through the ark. Who was immersed? The reprobate world. Scripture says:

The waters prevailed and increased greatly on the earth, and the ark floated on the face of the waters. And the waters prevailed so mightily on the earth that all the high mountains under the whole heaven were covered. The waters prevailed above the mountains, covering them fifteen cubits deep. And all flesh died that moved on the earth, birds, livestock, beasts, all swarming creatures that swarm on the earth, and all mankind. Everything on the dry land in whose nostrils was the breath of life died. He blotted out every living thing that was on the face of the ground, man and animals and creeping things and birds of the heavens. They were blotted out from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those who were with him in the ark. (Gen 7:18–23)

Were Noah and the church immersed? No, they were not. Consider the second great, mass baptism in the Old Testament, i.e., the Exodus:

Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the LORD drove the sea back by a strong east wind all night and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided. And the people of Israel went into the midst of the sea on dry ground, the waters being a wall to them on their right hand and on their left. The Egyptians pursued and went in after them into the midst of the sea, all Pharaoh’s horses, his chariots, and his horsemen. And in the morning watch the LORD in the pillar of fire and of cloud looked down on the Egyptian forces and threw the Egyptian forces into a panic, clogging their chariot wheels so that they drove heavily. And the Egyptians said, “Let us flee from before Israel, for the LORD fights for them against the Egyptians.” Then the LORD said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand over the sea, that the water may come back upon the Egyptians, upon their chariots, and upon their horsemen.” So Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the sea returned to its normal course when the morning appeared. And as the Egyptians fled into it, the LORD threw the Egyptians into the midst of the sea. The waters returned and covered the chariots and the horsemen; of all the host of Pharaoh that had followed them into the sea, not one of them remained. But the people of Israel walked on dry ground through the sea, the waters being a wall to them on their right hand and on their left. (Exod. 14:21–29)

The Israelites went through the Red Sea “on dry ground.” Who was immersed? Pharaoh and his army. Again, as in the Noahic flood, immersion is a judgment, not a blessing. Nevertheless, according to the Apostle Paul, the Israelites were “baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea” (1 Cor. 10:2). According to Paul, it was the Israelites who were baptized and yet they were not immersed, at least not in the Red Sea. One might contend that they were immersed “in the cloud” but that would not seem to be the case. In his indictment of the Israelites for their unbelief, Moses charged the Israelites with not believing in the God “who went before you in the way to seek you out a place to pitch your tents, in fire by night and in the cloud by day, to show you by what way you should go” (Deut. 1:33). The Israelites were not immersed by the cloud that went before them during the day and yet Paul says that they were baptized “in the cloud.”

Ceremonial washings in the Old Testament involved the sprinkling of blood, and Moses re-consecrated the people of Israel by effusing blood on them.

Then there is the matter of the various ceremonial washings in the Old Testament, which form the conceptual and practical background for the mode of baptism. Aaron and the Levites were sprinkled with blood (Exod. 29:21). The priests sprinkled blood in front of the veil of the temple (Lev. 4:6, 17) and in other religious rituals (Lev. 5:9; 14;7, 16, 27, 51; 16:14, 19).

One of the passages that has most influenced me, however, is the remarkable scene in Exodus 24, in which the Israelites were re-consecrated after they had broken the covenant even before Moses made it down the mountain with the tablets.

Then he took the Book of the Covenant and read it in the hearing of the people. And they said, “All that the LORD has spoken we will do, and we will be obedient.” And Moses took the blood and threw it on the people and said, “Behold the blood of the covenant that the LORD has made with you in accordance with all these words.” (Exod. 24:7-8)

Moses did not immerse the people in the blood of bulls and goats. He effused blood on them. Most likely he hit the first three rows; nevertheless, the whole assembly (most of whom were never hit with blood) were included. In the ancient world, by the way, the only people to be immersed in blood were those pagans who were immersed in the blood of a bull in the taurobolium.

To the best of my knowledge, the rabbis in the inter-testamental period and in the first century sprinkled things to cleanse them ritually. They did not immerse them.

The biblical evidence for immersion is rather thin.

Some Christians have never seen any other mode of baptism except immersion. It is nearly impossible for them to imagine any other mode. For them, baptism and immersion are synonymous. That identity, however, is not in the things themselves as much as it is in the mind and experience of those Baptists, who, historically considered, represent the minority position among Christians.

The biblical evidence for immersion is rather thin. The prevailing mode of the administration of ritual washing or cleansing is effusion/emulsion. Indeed, as I tried to show, there are weighty biblical considerations against immersion as a mode. It certainly may not be assumed to be correct.

This article by R. Scott Clark is adapted from “Dunking, Sprinkling, Or Pouring (Or Does It Matter)?” at heidelblog.net.

Monday, August 12, 2024

4 Characteristics of Good and Lasting Friendships

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

“‘No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you’” (John 15:15).

While short-term friendships can be a blessing to be sure, there is something that is always a bit sad when friends go in different directions for whatever reason. A friendship that endures over the years is like a strong tree you can hold onto, steadying you when your own roots are weak. As I consider the friendships I have enjoyed over the years, there are consistent characteristics of those that have stood the test of time.

Good friends are there for each other.

Of course, good friends have their own responsibilities in life with family, work, other commitments, etc., and they can't alway drop everything to be with you right away. Yet, a good friend will prioritize your needs and help as he or she can as soon as possible. It is important to communicate our needs to our friends as we feel appropriate to do, so they will know we are hurting and be able to support us however possible.

Your friend might not be able to help in the way you think you need, or your friend might have a different opinion of what kind of help you need, and that's okay. We can't expect our friends to always think and act as we want them to do, but we do need to have godly standards for our friendships.

Good friends courageously speak truth to each other.

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we know in our hearts we shouldn't be. We may want our friend to condone—or even support—our sinful behavior or errant thinking. Or perhaps we are unconsciously hoping that our friend will say the words to us that we aren't willing to say to ourselves. A good friend holds to godly convictions and exhorts us with love, patience, and resoluteness to do the same.

You wouldn't want your friend to watch you unknowingly head toward the edge of a cliff and not say anything, and you would want to be the voice of alarm and reason to your friend as well. Your friend might not be right in what he or she is saying to you, but it is important to listen to the wisdom of good friends, especially those who are strong in the Lord.

Good friends don't keep a balance sheet.

Sometimes one friend will invest in the friendship more than the other person, and that's also okay. In fact, the relationship may always have that characteristic as some people have a personality that is more outgoing and initiates connection more frequently. Still, that doesn't let you off the hook from also taking initiative to nurture the friendship.

Even a simple text can show your friend that he or she is important to you. Think of ways you can help grow the friendship in ways that are enjoyable and easy to do. Even a small amount of effort can let your outgoing friend know that you value and appreciate him or her. A healthy lasting friendship requires attention and care, like any other growing thing in life.

Good friends bring joy to each other.

We should enjoy our friendships over the long haul. Yet, we may find ourselves in a friendship where the joy that was present in the beginning of the relationship has diminished over time. While loyalty is important in friendship, the commitment of friendship is not the same as marriage. Sometimes friendships benefit from some time apart, and friendships often require extra forbearance, grace, and forgiveness in order to survive over the long term.

Don't be quick to let go of a friendship, as you don't know all the trials and tribulations your friend is going through. It may be that what he or she needs most at the present time are your faithfulness, patience, and prayers.

Yet, it also could be the case that people aren't who we thought they were, they no longer want to be friends with us, or they have become "bad company" since the friendship began:

Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare. (Prov. 22:24-25)

Do not be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals." (1 Cor. 15:33)

We need to have the same grace for our friends that we would want them to have for us. Good friendships are about both giving and receiving, and most importantly about honoring God. Whether our friends build us up or let us down, may we always hold onto our closest and best friend, our Lord Jesus Christ, for our strength, hope, joy, peace, and comfort.

This article is adapted from “Good Friendships for the Long Run” in Beautiful Christian Life’s July 2022 monthly newsletter.

Sunday, August 11, 2024

10 Facts about Sarah from the Book of Genesis That Will Encourage Your Faith

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

Sarah had to wait until she was in her nineties to give birth to her son, Isaac. We can learn much from Sarah (formerly called Sarai) in the book of Genesis regarding what walking in faith in the promises of God looks like in real life.

1. In Genesis 11 we learn that Sarai is barren.

Because Sarai is barren, she is unable to participate in the promise of Genesis 3:15 that God would provide the seed that would crush the head of the serpent. In the culture in which Sarai lived, her husband Abram possibly could have divorced her on grounds of barrenness.

And Abram and Nahor took wives. The name of Abram's wife was Sarai, and the name of Nahor's wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran the father of Milcah and Iscah. Now Sarai was barren; she had no child. (Gen. 11:29-30)

2. Sarah is not mentioned in Genesis 12-15 as the mother of the promised child of Abraham.

In God’s promise to Abram in Genesis 12 and 15, there is no mention of Sarai:

Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” (Gen. 12:1-3)

And Abram said, “Behold, you have given me no offspring, and a member of my household will be my heir.” And behold, the word of the Lord came to him: “This man shall not be your heir; your very own sonshall be your heir.” And he brought him outside and said, “Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” And he believed the Lord, and he counted it to him as righteousness. (Gen. 15:3-6)

3. In Genesis 16 Sarai tries to participate in the promise of Genesis 3:15 through her servant Hagar.

Because she is advanced in years (in her 90s) and hasn’t provided Abram with an heir yet, Sarai gives Hagar to Abram as a wife in Genesis 16. Since nothing was mentioned in God’s promise about the heir coming through Sarai in Genesis 12 and 15, Abraham maybe thought taking Hagar as a wife was a reasonable “plan B.”

Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain childrenby her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.So, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram's wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant, and gave her to Abram her husband as a wife. (Gen. 16:1-3)

4. Sarai is acting out of faith, but she does the wrong thing.

In Galatians 4, Paul makes the point that Abraham and Sarai were trying to assist God in bringing his promise to fulfillment, adding a human ingredient in redemption, but God doesn’t need our help.

Tell me, you who desire to be under the law, do you not listen to the law? For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by a slave woman and one by a free woman. But the son of the slave was born according to the flesh, while the son of the free woman was born through promise. (Gal. 4:21-23)

5. It is not until Genesis 17:5-21 that God tells Abraham about Sarai’s future role.

In Genesis 17, God changes Sarai’s name to Sarah, which means “princess” in Hebrew. He changes her name because he is going to bless Sarah, making her part of the foundation of the covenant of grace (see Gal. 3:13-18). Regarding Sarah’s name change, the Anchor Yale Dictionary notes,

In Gen. 17:15, the Priestly version of God’s covenant with Abraham, Sarai’s name is changed to Sarah, just as Abram’s name becomes Abraham. Name changes signify a new reality. Thus, the barren Sarah is brought into God’s covenantal promise as the mother of many nations and kings (17:16). Over and against Hagar and Ishmael, she is the lawful wife who will bear the son through whom God’s promises to Abraham will be realized. [1]

This was God’s promise to Eve and then to Abraham—she is royalty in the eyes of the Lord. Abraham learns that Sarah would indeed be the mother of the promised child:

And God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarahshall be her name. I will bless her, and moreover, I will give you a son by her. I will bless her, and she shall become nations; kings of peoples shall come from her.” (Gen. 17:15-16)

6. God’s promise that Sarah would bear a son is delayed.

Even though God promises Abraham (this promise is not declared to Sarah directly) that Sarah would bear the heir to the promise—namely, Isaac— the fulfillment of this promise is delayed for another year:

The Lord said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife shall have a son.” And Sarah was listening at the tent door behind him. (Gen. 18:10)

7. Sarah laughs with joy that her faith has borne fruit.

Sarah has left her family for a man who lived in tents. This is like leaving Beverly Hills for a guy living in a broken-down camper. Twice her husband tells her to lie; she puts up with it because she is committed to Abraham and to his God. Persevering in the faith is what defines believers:

Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in years. The way of women had ceased to be with Sarah. So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?” The Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.” But Sarah denied it, saying, “I did not laugh,” for she was afraid. He said, “No, but you did laugh.” (Gen. 18:11-15)

8. By divine promise Sarah eventually conceives.

God delighted to bring forth a child in Sarah’s old age so everyone would know it was the Lord’s doing. He did it to glorify his name:

The Lord visited Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did to Sarah as he had promised. And Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age at the time of which God had spoken to him. Abraham called the name of his son who was born to him, whom Sarah bore him, Isaac. And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac when he was eight days old, as God had commanded him. Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him. And Sarah said, “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh over me.” And she said, “Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age.” (Gen. 21:1-7)

9. Scripture’s judgment of Sarah is one of charity, and we should do the same.

Even though she made a mistake, God had a judgment of charity for Sarah. Hebrews 11 commends her faith:

By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised. Therefore from one man, and him as good as dead, were born descendants as many as the stars of heaven and as many as the innumerable grains of sand by the seashore. (Heb. 11:11-12)

Hebrews 11 helps us know how to read the Old Testament. God’s promise is not earthly in its total fulfillment. If the Old Testament saints heard the promises of God as an earthly inheritance, they could have gone back to their old land. We know their faith by what they said and what they did, and that part is the same for us today. The Old Testament saints were looking for the same eternal homeland we are (Heb. 11:13-16). By faith, they waited for it.

10. The Lord has that same judgment of charity toward us all.

We too can say, “Lord, please bless this mess I made.” Sarah had her bad moments—don’t we all? Perhaps you have been hurt by the church or individual Christians in some way. It is good to have a judgment of charity in the church as much as possible, just as God had for Sarah. The Lord has a city that he has prepared for every believer, and one day all of God’s saints shall arrive there safely in glory:

And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect. (Heb. 11:39-40)

This article was originally published on May 11, 2019.

Thursday, August 8, 2024

10 Words Every Christian Should Know (and Be Able to Explain)

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

Here are 10 words every Christian should know—and be able to explain—in order to "be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have" (1 Peter 3:15).

1. Faith

Saving faith is not, as is commonly believed, a blind faith. There are three aspects of saving faith:

knowledge of Christ and his salvific work;
agreement that the claims of Christianity are true;
hearty trust in Christ alone for our salvation.

Faith is the instrument through which, by God’s grace, Christ’s perfect righteousness and atoning sacrifice are credited to us. It is God’s gift, not a work of any kind (Eph. 2:8-9). For more on the definition of faith, please click here.

2. Grace

Grace is one of God’s attributes. According to theologian Louis Berkhof, the grace of God in our redemption in Christ

is God's free, sovereign undeserved favor or love to man, in his state of sin and guilt, which manifests itself in the forgiveness of sin and deliverance from His justice. (Systematic Theology, p. 427).

There is nothing we have done or could ever do to merit God’s grace. We receive it by God’s sovereign choice alone (Rom. 11:5-6).

3. Peace

There are two aspects to peace—objective and subjective. Just as two countries have a status of peace with each other through official agreements, so Christians are declared at peace with God through Jesus Christ (Rom. 5:1). This means that we still have the status of peace with God regardless of how we feel or how well we keep his commands at any given time.

It is normal for Christians to still feel anxious in this troubled world and to feel a lack of peace from the sin in their lives. These feelings should spur us on to trust in God, repent of our sins, and seek to live in such a manner that honors our Lord. Christians should always be exceedingly thankful and find unfathomable comfort in the fact that the blood of Christ sufficiently atones for all their guilt and sin.

4. Cross

God in his perfection must uphold all his attributes. We cannot separate God’s love from his holiness, or his mercy from his justice. God must be true to all his attributes, because to do otherwise would be to deny his own self.

As theologian Michael Horton so aptly states in his book The Christian Faith, “God would not be God if he did not possess all his attributes in the simplicity and perfection of his essence” (229). Jesus was born in the flesh so he could fulfill the whole law and be the perfect sacrifice on behalf of all who put their faith in him (Heb. 10:11-14).

At the cross Jesus offered up his life as the perfect, once-for-all sacrifice for all who trust in him for salvation (e.g. John 10:14, 15). According to Horton we observe, "the clearest evidence of the complete consistency between God's goodness and his sovereignty, justice, wrath, and righteousness in Christ's cross" (p. 266). At the cross we see God's “righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus” (Rom. 3:26).

5. Law

According to theologian R. C. Sproul, the law is like a mirror: it shows us our sin, but it can do nothing to save us. In fact, the law condemns everyone who is not in Christ. Jesus was born in the flesh in order to be the perfect Son whom God had promised since the fall of Adam in the garden (Gen. 3:15).

For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. (Rom. 8:3-4)

Jesus kept the law perfectly on behalf of all who trust in him for salvation, and they are counted righteous in God’s sight through faith alone by God’s grace alone.

The law also serves the purposes of restraining evil and showing us what is pleasing to God. Christians should also strive to keep God's law in joyfully thanksgiving for all God has done for them in Christ, although they will do so imperfectly in this life. For more on the "three-fold use" of the law, click here.

6. Gospel

The Gospel is the good news of what Jesus did to redeem his people (his birth, life, death, and resurrection) and inaugurate the kingdom of God and the new creation (1 Cor. 15). It is good news because we are unable to save ourselves, as all our works are tainted by sin and we are all guilty in Adam (Rom. 5:12-21).

Without Christ being born in the flesh, keeping the law perfectly, and being the perfect once-for-all sacrifice for sin (Heb. 10:11-12), we would be without hope. Because of God’s love for the world in sending his Son, there is a way to peace with God: it is the narrow gate that is through faith in Christ alone:

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. (Matt. 7:13-14)

There is salvation in no other name, because only the God-man could save us from ourselves (Acts 4:12).

7. Justification

Without understanding how they are justified in Christ, Christians may wrongly think their own works, good or bad, could keep them in or out of God’s kingdom. The Bible says that we are declared righteous in Christ—this is a legal verdict and not something that God sees inside of us:

And to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness. (Rom. 4:5)

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. (Rom. 5:8-9)

Christ has taken upon himself the punishment we deserve, and he has earned life for us by his perfect obedience to God’s law.

Believers will never have to face God’s just sentence for their sins and spend eternity in hell separated from God. Think of someone in a courtroom who is guilty of a horrible crime and deserving of the severest punishment, but is instead declared innocent because someone else paid the penalty for them—and even made them coheirs with him, sharing in his vast wealth. This is the joyful justification every believer has in Christ.

8. Sanctification

Not only do Christians have the benefit of being justified in Christ, they also have the benefit of sanctification. The Holy Spirit indwells every believer and is at work conforming them to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29). According to the Heidelberg Catechism, sanctification in Christ consists of two parts:

the dying of the old self (mortification), which consists of a "heartfelt sorrow that we have offended God by our sin, and more and more to hate it and flee from it" (Q. 89);
and living unto God (vivification), which consists of "a heartfelt joy in God through Christ, and a love and delight to live according to the will of God in all good works" (Q. 90).

Christians should be diligent to grow in godliness and be confident, as the apostle Paul writes, “that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6).

Sadly, the Roman Catholic Church has turned around the teaching of justification and sanctification, erroneously teaching that our justification comes some day in the undetermined future, after we have completed the process of sanctification via the sacraments of Rome and purgatory. The truth is that all believers are coheirs with Christ, and sanctification is God’s gift to all his children. As the apostle John declares,

Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:2)

9. Imputation

The doctrine of imputation is one of the most under-taught teachings in the church today, and every Christian needs to know it. God credits to us the righteousness of Christ, and this comes through faith alone, which is also God’s gift to us in Christ (Eph. 2:8-9). Additionally, our sin is credited to Christ, who, though he knew no sin, was punished for the sins of all who trust in him for salvation (2 Cor. 5:21).

Martin Luther called this the Great Exchange: Christ’s righteousness counted (credited) to us, and our sin counted (credited) to Christ. You can also think of this double imputation as a balance sheet, with Christ’s assets on one side and our liabilities on the other side. God doesn’t look at our hearts and judge us as righteous based on our holiness; rather, we are judged as righteous because of the perfect work of Christ that is imputed to us. We don’t have to be punished for our sin either, because God imputed the punishment we deserve to Christ who bore it in full at the cross.

10. Resurrection

The resurrection of Jesus from the dead is our greatest hope, since it showed that our Savior conquered sin, death, and the devil at the cross, and the grave could not hold him. We can also take great comfort in knowing that we, too, will have resurrected bodies like Christ one day. We won’t always be separated from our physical bodies but will one day be reunited with them, and we won’t be able to sin anymore! Praise God!

But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead.For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive. (1 Cor. 15:20-22)

One day suffering, pain, evil, and death will be no more, and all believers will behold the beauty of their Savior at last and for always:

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” (Rev. 21:4-5).

Wednesday, August 7, 2024

The Savior Wounds Us, Then Heals Us — Genesis 42-44

*Joseph Recognized by His Brothers* (1788) by Jean-Charles Tardieu; image from Wikimedia Commons.

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

An old friend of mine has been telling me about her granddaughter, who is only ten years old and loves to play sport.

She fell off of a trampoline last year and shattered her ankle. The surgery was difficult, and her bones didn’t heal properly. Fearing that her leg might not develop properly, her medical providers re-operated and re-broke and re-splinted the bone. They are still not sure whether the bone is properly healing, so she faces the possibility of yet another re-break and re-splint.

My friend grieves for her little granddaughter’s suffering. She wouldn’t hesitate to take her place, to suffer in her place if only she could.

We understand why the orthopedic specialists do this. They must bring short-term distress and suffering for her long-term benefit—so that in years to come she might run and play sports again with her friends.

We see Joseph doing just this to his brothers in Genesis chapters 42 to 44. He wounds them and brings them to their knees, so that he can heal and lift them up to full health. It is a picture of what Jesus does time and again with his beloved.

Desperation brings us to the Savior.

“When Jacob learned that there was grain in Egypt, he said to his sons, ‘Why do you look at one another?’” (Gen. 42:1).

The predicted seven-year famine threatened to destroy the region, including the covenant family—the sons of Jacob from whom God would raise up a blessed people to be a blessing to the nations. We see their pasturelands desiccating, herds emaciating, silos diminishing, wells turning first to mud, then to dust. Anxious Jacob sends his anxious sons to Egypt. “Behold, I have heard that there is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that we may live and not die” (Gen. 42:2).

This is how the journey to Christian faith often begins.

A financial crisis, a terrible accident, or a deadly sickness cripples us. A broken marriage or family crisis brings us to our knees. A great life disappointment slays us. Or we commit a great sin: something that shatters our idea of who we think we are. Sometimes all of these at once.

You look around for help, but the deluge has swept away every earthly support and hope. You are forced to look beyond: “I have heard that there is grain in Egypt.” “I have heard of the one they call Jesus.”

God had revealed to Jacob’s family his special plan for Joseph: that one day they would bow before him to receive his sustenance. The dreams made them jealous; they dismissed them as hubris. When the opportunity came, they plotted to murder Joseph, tossed him into a pit, and then sold him into foreign slavery.

Now in their hour of distress God forced them back to the one they tried to destroy, the only one who could help them.

President Eisenhower said that “there are no atheists in the foxholes…. In times of test and trial, we instinctively turn to God for new courage and peace of mind.” There is nothing wrong with this. This is no less sensible than dialing 911 in an emergency, or firing a distress flare from the life raft.

The Savior may harshly test us.

His brothers were prostrate before Joseph, pleading for his help. Yet, Joseph did not immediately throw his arms around his brothers with shouts of comfort and joy.

He recognized them but pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them. “Where do you come from?” he asked. “From the land of Canaan,” they replied, “to buy food.” “You are spies,” he replied, “You have come to see the nakedness of the land” (“nakedness of the land” meaning “where our land is unprotected”; Gen. 42:7–9).

So Joseph initiated a long and difficult trial for his brothers. Why?

When last he saw his brothers, Joseph was in distress and pleading for his life (42:21). They cruelly ignored his pleas and sold him as a slave, never to see his home or family again.

Joseph needed to know: Had they changed? Were they still petty and jealous egoists with hearts full of malice and murder, or had they learned to love? Were they living in an opium cloud of self-righteousness, or had they confessed their crimes to God and sought his mercy and forgiveness?

“You are spies!” Spies were impaled. How would they react? Would they cut a deal and betray one another to find freedom?

Joseph threw them in a dungeon for three days, as they had once thrown him into the cistern. He forced them to acknowledge their guilt. Later, he hid their silver, their payment for Egyptian supplies, back in their baggage. Would they be honest? Then he put Benjamin’s life in the balance. Would they let Benjamin die, or free him by taking his place?

Jesus works hard on us because he loves us.

When a person comes to Christ, the Savior tests their heart and motives. Have they confessed their sin? Are they truly sorry for their sin, or are they sorrier for its consequences? Do they want to be freed and transformed from rebellion, or just freed from immediate pain?

Jesus pressed the distressed Peter—who had denied him three times—to re-profess his love three times over. Jesus left Saul blind for three days before descaling his eyes. He worked on David for three-hundred days after his murder and adultery, until his “bones wasted away” (Ps. 32:3), “for day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer” (Ps. 32:4). Jesus works hard on us.

Joel Beeke condemns “the false invitation of decisionism” where people say a prayer “but remain enemies of God” (Reformed Systematic Theology, 2024). Martin Luther learned to fear God in the thunderstorm in 1505, but he was not converted until after a further ten years of trials and study. At the age of 23, John Newton cried out to the Lord from a violent ocean storm, but it was only after many more years of pain and wretched sinning that he came to full repentance and faith.

It is, however, only after becoming Christians that the Lord really begins his terrific—I use this adjective intentionally—work of affliction.

We must not harden our hearts against the startling ferocity of the Lord’s merciful discipline.

Every day he breaks and tears down strongholds of rebellion, willfulness, egoism, self-reliance, and hope and comfort in earthly people and things—anything and everything that hinders us from trusting and loving him in our totality.

Eliphaz knew this, and knew also the temptation to resent the Lord’s sanctifying discipline:

“Behold, blessed is the one whom God reproves;
therefore despise not the discipline of the Almighty.
For he wounds, but he binds up;
he shatters, but his hands heal. (Job 5:17–18)

Isaiah encourages us to look beyond the pain, to see that heaven will shine even brighter after such earthly trials:

Moreover, the light of the moon will be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be sevenfold, as the light of seven days, in the day when the Lord binds up the brokenness of his people, and heals the wounds inflicted by his blow. (Isa. 30:26)

James urges the same:

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)

Hosea pleads that we do not harden our hearts against the startling ferocity of the Lord’s merciful discipline:

“Come, let us return to the Lord;
for he has torn us, that he may heal us;
he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.” (Hos. 6:1)

The Lord’s harsh discipline gives us the deep comfort of knowing that we are God’s beloved children:

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline
or be weary of his reproof,
for the Lord reproves him whom he loves,
as a father the son in whom he delights. (Prov. 3:11–12)

Hebrews draws from these verses the lesson that an absence of discipline should alarm us to the possibility that we are not in fact God’s children:

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. (Heb. 12:7–8)

We must store up rich silos of faith for the coming years of trial.

Our dear old friend Max, who has learned to be a Christian through long years of “dangers, toils, and snares,” recently urged us in our evening service to prepare for such suffering, through the knowledge of how God works in his children through trials. Max is right! If we don’t understand these things beforehand, it may be too late when the suffering comes. Joseph laid up a store of sustenance for the lean years, and we must store up rich silos of faith for the coming years of trial.

Joseph tested his brothers with tears in his eyes. He tested out of love, not vengeance. Nor did he stand above their suffering. He knew suffering, knew how to help them, and shared in it. Likewise,

We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. (Heb. 4:15)

Our Lord’s love for us is relentless; he will sanctify us at all costs: He will tear us to pieces, but he will heal us; he will injure us, but he will bind up our wounds.

In trials be patient and praise him for his wisdom and love.

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Thursday, August 15, 2024

Countless affairs are ignited by “chemistry.”

Be acutely aware of the difference between feelings of friendship and sexual chemistry.

Flee from inappropriate sexual chemistry.

There is an “80/20 Rule” that occurs in many marriages.

Work on your “20 percent” to strengthen your marriage.

Don't ever settle for an "okay" marriage.

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Wednesday, August 14, 2024

Jesus is the Word of God.

All Scripture is God-breathed.

The entire Bible is God’s revelation to us.

God has given us every single word of Scripture for a good purpose.

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Tuesday, August 13, 2024

For most of Christian history, the dominant practice was either effusion or emulsion.

For many, the phrase “up from the water” (Matt. 3:16) necessarily means “Jesus was immersed and he came out of the water”; that, however, is an assumption.

Philip and the Eunuch “went down into the water” (Acts 8:38) and “went up from the water” (Acts 8:39); we may not assume immersion.

The two great baptisms in the Old Testament give us insight regarding the biblical mode of baptism.

Ceremonial washings in the Old Testament involved the sprinkling of blood, and Moses re-consecrated the people of Israel by effusing blood on them.

The biblical evidence for immersion is rather thin.

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Monday, August 12, 2024

Good friends are there for each other.

Good friends courageously speak truth to each other.

Good friends don't keep a balance sheet.

Good friends bring joy to each other.

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Sunday, August 11, 2024

1. In Genesis 11 we learn that Sarai is barren.

2. Sarah is not mentioned in Genesis 12-15 as the mother of the promised child of Abraham.

3. In Genesis 16 Sarai tries to participate in the promise of Genesis 3:15 through her servant Hagar.

4. Sarai is acting out of faith, but she does the wrong thing.

5. It is not until Genesis 17:5-21 that God tells Abraham about Sarai’s future role.

6. God’s promise that Sarah would bear a son is delayed.

7. Sarah laughs with joy that her faith has borne fruit.

8. By divine promise Sarah eventually conceives.

9. Scripture’s judgment of Sarah is one of charity, and we should do the same.

10. The Lord has that same judgment of charity toward us all.

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Thursday, August 8, 2024

1. Faith

2. Grace

3. Peace

4. Cross

5. Law

6. Gospel

7. Justification

8. Sanctification

9. Imputation

10. Resurrection

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Wednesday, August 7, 2024

Desperation brings us to the Savior.

The Savior may harshly test us.

Jesus works hard on us because he loves us.

We must not harden our hearts against the startling ferocity of the Lord’s merciful discipline.

We must store up rich silos of faith for the coming years of trial.

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