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Self-control is a gift given by God and found in the list of fruits of the Spirit written in Galatians 5:22-23. But what exactly does God mean when he includes self-control in the list of virtues given to his beloved people by the Holy Spirit?
Godly self-control involves not allowing emotional impulses to control us.
The Greek word translated “self-control” means to be able to restrain one’s emotions and impulses or desires. Often in the ancient world this referred to sexual desires, but broadly speaking it surely means being in control of oneself and not allowing emotional impulses to control us. Those impulses, besides sexual desires, often lead to angry outbursts, irresponsible purchases, and rash decisions made without careful contemplation.
We may say that someone is "out of control” when we see the person acting in a manner that displays high emotion and a mind closed off to the wisdom of others or experience. We may also discern that a person is “out of control” when patterns of behavior emerge over time that display poor judgment, such as a series of rash and poor decisions, behaviors that harm, and actions that reveal impulsiveness without thinking.
Godly self-control involves the discipline of not yielding to our sinful desires.
On the other hand, self-control can be thought of as a form of self-discipline. The apostle Peter writes,
For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness. (2 Pet. 1:5-6)
The “reason” Peter gives (v. 5) is because God by faith in Christ Jesus has granted his people “all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Pet. 1:3). He goes on to write that God fulfilled his promise to lead his people out of “corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire” (2 Pet. 1:4). In these verses Peter is contrasting “self-control” with “sinful desire.” The Greek word we translate into sinful desire often means lustfulness or an inordinate craving for something. Self-control, though, means not yielding to those desires—it means having restraint over one’s cravings, whether they be of a sexual nature, materialistic (coveting), or envious. It also means being in control of our emotions.
Focusing on God’s law and what is pleasing to him helps us with self-control.
Now, how does God lead us to the particular fruit of self-control? One way is through God’s word given to us in Scripture, especially the law of God that directs us on how to please our heavenly Father. The law of God instructs us how to control ourselves when there is risk that temptations may overtake us.
For example, anger often reveals a person’s lack of self-control. In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ teaches us that such anger violates the sixth commandment against murder (Exod. 20:13; Matt. 5:21-22). Lustful sexual desires transgress the seventh commandment against adultery (Exod. 20:14; Matt. 5:27-28). Inordinate desires display a lack of self-control and break the tenth commandment against coveting (Exod. 20:17; Rom. 7:7). Knowing God’s law, thinking about it, and striving to please God by keeping his law are all ways God uses to help us with self-control.
God’s providential and sovereign ruling of our lives trains us through discipline toward self-control.
One other way God’s Spirit bears the fruit of self-control in our lives is through wisdom, especially what is found in the wisdom books of the Bible such as Proverbs. The Hebrew word that is normally translated “discipline” means training, warning, or exhortation. The wisdom of God and his providential and sovereign ruling of our lives train us through discipline toward self-control. For example, consider these wise sayings:
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life. (Prov. 6:23)
Take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold. (Prov. 8:10)
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. (Prov. 12:1)
When we risk losing self-control, the Lord disciplines us—he instructs us and trains us by the power of the Spirit working through his word. The Lord’s discipline leads his people to live with self-control rather than with the sinfulness of outbursts, impulsiveness, lustfulness, or rashness. Through God’s word, his law, and his wisdom, the Spirit bears the fruit of self-control in those who are his through faith in our Savior Christ Jesus.
This article originally appeared in BCL’s September 2023 monthly newsletter “Self-Control.”
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