Wednesday, January 31, 2024

When Your Spouse Won’t Join a Solid Church

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Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

Among the many grievous situations in which a believer may find himself or herself, having a spouse who is either unbelieving or unwilling to join a biblical church can be one of the most burdensome. The Scriptures teach us the importance of belonging to a local congregation, being under the oversight of godly elders and living out the Christian life among the members of the assembly. What is a believer to do when his or her spouse refuses to attend a church or is unwilling to join a local congregation?

To make matters more difficult, what is a godly wife to do when her husband refuses to join a solid church? This sort of situation is burdensome to the heart of a godly woman who wants to please the Lord and respect her husband. To make matters even more challenging, what is a godly woman to do when her husband forbids her from joining a solid, biblical congregation? Here are a few thoughts that may help assist those who are having to walk through these difficult situations:

1. We are to obey God rather than men.

Sometimes people mistakenly say things like, "I don't care what people think, I just care about what the Lord thinks.” This sort of brazen response often lacks the biblical nuance of doing what is pleasing to the Lord while seeking to take into consideration the needs and interests of others. However, when someone presses us to disobey, or tempts us to compromise, we must fall back on the principle of pleasing God rather than men.

When the Apostle Paul took up the problem in the church in Galatia, this was his response,

Do I now seek the approval of men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ. (Gal. 1:10)

This should be the guiding principle, in no matter what situation we find ourselves. Whether it is rejecting false teaching or refusing to be swayed by the influence and pressures of those who would disobey God, we must seek to do what it pleasing to God first and foremost.

The Lord commands His people not to forsake the assembly (Heb. 10:24-25). This means that you should find the most biblically faithful congregation you can in close proximity to your home and bind yourself to it with a whole life commitment, no matter what your spouse is telling you. If a godly man's wife wants to attend a compromised church, he should refuse to attend it himself. It is better to obey God than to engage in compromise for the sake of peace. 

2. We are to be respectful to our spouse, even when they encourage us to disobey.

Whether it is a godly man whose wife does not want to follow his lead in joining a biblically solid church or a godly wife whose husband refuses to join a biblical church with her, believers are called to be gentle, humble, meek and loving in their responses to their spouse. When Simon Peter took up the issue of a godly wife living with an ungodly husband, he encouraged her to win him over through quiet, humble respect. He wrote,

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.” (1 Peter 3:1-2)

This obviously does not mean that the godly wife is to be a doormat or to tolerate abuse. What it does mean is that she is to keep a watch over her own heart and to know that there can be more conviction unto her husband's reformation by adorning her life with the pursuit of godliness.

What does this look like in a marriage in which the husband refuses to allow her to worship in a solid church? It may mean that she commits to praying about the situation for a number of weeks. It may mean that she goes to her husband in gentleness, asking him to be understanding of her need to be in the worship and fellowship of a biblical congregation. Whatever it looks like, of this much we can be sure, in His word, God tells us that being respectful works. 

The converse is also true. I have known godly men who were mocked by their wives for their desire to be in a local church. Instead of ramroding religion down their wife's throats, they meekly continued to seek to lead her in love and gentleness. In almost every case of which I am aware, the wife came around to knowing Christ for herself through the godly example of her husband. The second part of The Pilgrim's Progress holds out a beautiful example of this. After Christian's family mocks him for following Christ, his wife and children ultimately come around to setting off on the Christian pilgrimage for themselves. 

No matter the specific details of the situation in which one may find himself or herself, we must seek to be an example to our spouse in godly love and humility. Ultimately, the outcome is in the Lord's hands. As the Apostle wrote,

How do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Cor. 7:16)

3. We are to be willing to be reproached for doing what is right.

Some may be called to tread the long, hard road of suffering at the hands of their spouse. It may come through demeaning speech, mockery or just cold indifference. Every one of us had a cross to bear. Some of us will be called to bear those crosses in our marriages. We must be willing to endure the reproach for the name of Christ, even when it comes from our own spouse. 

4. We are to pray for the spiritual well-being of our spouse.

We live in a day when every form of social activism and reactionary response of self-interest takes a front seat to prayer. We are constantly berated with the idea that prayer and waiting on the Lord is inaction. Far from it, the Psalmist teaches us that waiting on the Lord to undertake for us in whatever difficult situation we may find ourselves is the greatest form of action we can take. After all, the infinite God can do anything and everything. He commands us to cast our cares on Him, to wait on Him, to cry out to Him day and night and to pray for the peace of His church.

In the same way, we should be praying for the spiritual redemption and restoration of our spouse. Is your spouse refusing to submit himself or herself to the authority of the elders in a local congregation? The living God can easily change their hearts. Is your spouse living in hard-hearted unbelief? The God who broke apart your hard heart through His word and Gospel can do the very same thing for them. No matter what the situation we must learn, in the words of the hymn writer, to “take it to the Lord in prayer.”

Pray that the Lord would open his or her eyes to the mystery of the Gospel. Pray that God would open doors for you to speak to your spouse about the truths of Christ. Fervently praying for your spouse is the best way to pursue your spouse.

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This article was first published on Christward Collective, a conversation of the Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals.



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Tuesday, January 30, 2024

The Third Day He Rose Again from the Dead — The Apostles' Creed, Articles of Faith 5 and 6

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Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

Editor’s note: This is the fifth installment of a series on the Apostles’ Creed. Rev. Campbell Markham is a Presbyterian minister in Perth, Australia.

“The third day he rose again from the dead; he ascended into heaven, and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty.” (The Apostles’ Creed, Articles 5 and 6)

If ever you visit the goldfields town of Kalgoorlie in Western Australia, you must take a tour of one of the old underground mines.

Everything is kept perfectly safe, sanitized, bright, and pleasant for the tourists, but look through your mind’s eye and you will see the terrible toil and dangers that every old miner faced.

Like the Kalgoorlie gold miners who journeyed deep into the earth, Jesus Christ descended, down, down from the light and life of heaven.

Every morning he pulls on leather boots and navy overalls, grimed and sweaty still from the day before. From his helmet shines a small electric light wired to a battery on his hip. He squeezes into a small steel cage. The door slams shut. With a whir he falls into the earth. Down, down he drops, rock rushing past his wire cage. Long minutes later, now in the heat of the earth’s black bowels, he emerges to begin his long trudge down gloomy galleries. Slender wooden beams hold back the vast weight above his head. 

Then his day’s work begins: drilling, hacking, blasting into the rock. Seeking and searching for gold-veined ore at great cost and peril. His face is black; sweat “like great drops of blood” gleam from his forearms and brow.

Long hours later (time stands still under the earth) he reverses his perilous journey. Back, back along the cloistered galleries he tramps, and with him is his hard-won ore. Up, up in the cage until, abruptly, he breaks out, blackened eyes squinting, into the late-afternoon blaze of the desert sun. 

They take the ore. It is crushed, washed, treated, purified, and reformed into a luminous massy lump of gold. A pure and gleaming treasure, the miner’s trophy.

In the same way Jesus Christ descended, down, down from the light and life of heaven, to be born into that dirty stable. He lived and taught in the darkness of a world that “did not recognize him,” that “did not receive him” (John 1:10-11). He bent lower and was falsely condemned and scourged. He bent lower again and was crucified. They mocked him in his agony. Lowest of all, he was separated from his Father:

“My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:46; emphasis added)

After, they wrenched the crimson nails from his hands and feet and lowered his body—black, blue, and red—from the cross. They laid him in the lightless tomb:

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)

And like the miners who burst back into the sun after long hours of labor, the Son burst forth in resurrection life after completing his atoning work.

The tomb could not hold Life Himself, of course. His Father rolled the stone away and, like the miner who burst back into the sun, the Son burst forth in resurrection life. “On the third day he rose again.”

And he kept on rising! “He ascended into heaven, and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty.”

Luke describes this marvelous event. Forty days after his resurrection, as his disciples looked on:

He was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. And while they were gazing into heaven as he went, behold, two men stood by them in white robes, and said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.” (Acts 1:9-11)

And there he presents his treasure to His Father: dirty ore, crushed and black, now cleaned and purified—by his blood—a treasure rescued from death and oblivion.

And so,  

…Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (Eph. 5:25b-27)

Whoever says, “I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord, who was crucified and buried, who rose to life and ascended to heaven, to present us saved to his Father,” will be saved from the grave and hell, to enjoy life forever and ever with him.  

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Monday, January 29, 2024

8 Covenants in the Bible and What They Mean for You Personally Today

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God always keeps his promises. In “2 Kinds of Covenants in the Bible You Need to Know,” we looked at the two main kinds of promises in the Bible: conditional and unconditional covenants. At first glance, these covenants can seem like strange practices from the long-ago past that have no relevance for us today, but nothing could be further from the truth. Following is a brief explanation of the eight significant covenants of the Bible—and what each one means for you personally.

1. The Covenant of Works (Conditional)

God made a conditional covenant with Adam in the garden of Eden. Adam was supposed to obey all God’s commands to earn the right to eat from the tree of life and merit eternal life. Adam rebelled against God and earned instead death and condemnation for himself and all his descendants (Gen. 2:17–18; Gen. 3).

What does this covenant mean for you personally? Because all humans come from Adam and were represented by him, they are all under this same covenant and guilty of failing to keep it (Rom. 5:12; 1 Cor. 15:21–22). Because God is holy, you are at enmity with God based on your own imperfect works. Furthermore, because you have a sinful nature due to the corruption resulting from Adam’s fall, you commit more sins that heap more guilt upon you.

2. The Covenant of Grace (Unconditional)

We first find the unconditional covenant of grace in Genesis 3:15 where God promises that a savior will come who will crush the head of the serpent (i.e. Satan). In the covenant of grace, people are saved by God’s grace through faith in Christ alone because of Christ’s perfect keeping of the law and his perfect and complete sacrifice once and for all for sin (Rom. 5:12–21; Heb. 7:27; 10:14).

What does this covenant mean for you personally? Because you are sinful, you can never keep God’s law perfectly and be pure in order to stand in his presence. Through faith in Christ alone, you are declared righteous in God’s sight, are forgiven of your sins, have peace with your Creator, and have been gifted all the rights and privileges as God’s child for eternity (Eph. 2:8–9; Rom. 5:1; 8:15).

3. The Noahic Covenant (Unconditional)

In the unconditional Noahic covenant, God made a promise to Noah to never again bring a flood to destroy the earth (Gen. 9:1–17). God instituted the Noahic covenant to preserve the earth so that humans would not destroy each other, in order that the savior, Jesus Christ, could come at the appointed time in God’s redemptive plan.

What does this covenant mean for you personally? Since Christ has come and done his saving work, God “is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Pet. 2:9). Jesus will return one day to fully establish his kingdom (Rev. 21). If you have not received Christ as your Savior, do so right away, for now is the day of salvation (2 Cor. 6:2).

4. The Covenant of Abraham (Unconditional)

The covenant of grace is more fully revealed in the covenant of Abraham. God made an unconditional, permanent covenant with Abraham: “‘I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed’” (Gen. 12:3; 15:5–6). God fulfilled his promise to Abraham by sending his only begotten Son Jesus to the earth as the Savior of the world to be born in the flesh from a descendant of Abraham (Matt. 1:1–17; Luke 3:23–38; Gal. 3:16).

What does this covenant mean for you personally? All who receive Christ as Savior are the true heirs of Abraham and have all rights and privileges thereof. Abraham believed God would keep his promise, “and if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise” (Gal. 3:29).

5. The Mosaic Covenant (Conditional)

Like the Abrahamic covenant, the Mosaic (old) covenant was part of the covenant of grace but it was temporary in nature. The Mosaic covenant was a conditional agreement between God and the people of Israel that was mediated by Moses (Exod. 19–24). The people of Israel had to fulfill God’s stipulations in this covenant to stay and prosper in the land God had given them. None of the Israelites were ever pure before God through the keeping of this covenant, because it was impossible for anyone to obey it perfectly. They were only declared righteous by faith alone, just as their father Abraham was (Gen. 15:6).

This covenant was extremely important for two reasons: 1) it showed the nation of Israel (and us) the impossibility of keeping God’s law perfectly and the need for a savior and 2) it provided a forum for Christ to come and be the perfect Son of Israel who would obey God’s law in all things and be the once-for-all sacrifice for sin.

What does this covenant mean for you personally? The Mosaic covenant shows us that, because of indwelling sin, the law is a taskmaster that humans can never appease (Rom. 3:19–20). Yet, there is no need for you to despair: Through faith in Christ, you are declared righteous before God, since Christ’s perfect obedience is counted to you and your sin is counted to Christ (Rom. 5:12–21; Heb. 7:27; 10:14).

6. The Davidic Covenant (Unconditional)

In 2 Samuel 7, God made a promise that he would raise up David’s offspring and “establish the throne of his kingdom forever” (7:12–13). God promised unconditionally to put a son of David on the throne, but only the righteous son would reign for eternity. While David’s son Solomon ruled over Israel, he failed to keep God’s commands (1 Kings 9:4–9; 11:4–8). Only David’s descendant Jesus was the true and faithful Son deserving of the everlasting throne of David (Ps. 2; 16; 110).

What does this covenant mean for you personally? Unlike mere human rulers who disappoint us with their failure to rule justly, Jesus obeyed God in all things—even giving his own life out of his love for the world—and earned the right to rule in glory forever (John 3:16; 1 Kings 2:35; Rev. 11:15). You can take comfort in knowing that the resurrected Christ is the one truly righteous King who has not only secured eternal life for all believers but will also put an end to all injustice and evil one day (Rev. 21:4).

7. The New Covenant (Unconditional)

The new covenant ushered in the new creation. This covenant is new in relationship to the old (Mosaic) covenant, but both are part of the covenant of grace. While Moses was the mediator of the old covenant between God and the nation of Israel, Christ is the mediator of the new covenant between God and believers through his finished work of redemption in his life, death, and resurrection. While the old covenant required national obedience, the new covenant requires faith in Christ, the perfectly obedient Son of Israel (Jer. 31:31–34; Matt. 26:28; Gal. 3:16–18).

What does this covenant mean for you personally? While the new covenant requires faith in Christ, this faith itself is a gift from God, given to all who trust in Christ as their Savior (John 1:12; Eph. 2:8–9). As a Christian, you can rejoice that you have peace with God (Rom. 5:1), eternal life (Rom. 6:23), are indwelt by the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 3:16), and are being conformed to the image of Jesus (Rom. 8:29).

8. The Covenant of Redemption (Conditional)

Without the covenant of redemption, the only other covenant in this list that could exist is the first one: the covenant of works. The covenant of redemption was established before creation and is the pact between the persons of the Trinity in which the Father sends the Son to do the work of redemption, the Son submits to the Father’s will, and the Holy Spirit applies the benefits of the Son’s accomplished work to believers (Ps. 40:6–8). As a reward for his obedience, the Father gifts the Son with glory and an everlasting kingdom (Ps. 110; Isa. 53; Zech. 6:12–13; John 17:1–5).

What does this covenant mean for you personally? If the persons of the Trinity didn’t make this pact—and keep it—we would all be under God’s condemnation without any hope for meeting his holy standards. God did not have to save any of us from the consequences of our sin, but he did so out of his unfathomable love (Rom. 3:23–26). Don’t depend on your own imperfect works to be right before God; instead, believe in and receive Jesus Christ as your Savior today.

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Digging deeper: If you would like to learn more about the eight significant covenants in the Bible, check out Sacred Bond: Covenant Theology Explored (Second Edition) by Michael G. Brown and Zach Keele.


This updated article was originally published under the title “How to Read Your Bible: God's Promises Kept” at corechristianity.com.



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Sunday, January 28, 2024

2 Kinds of Covenants in the Bible You Need to Know

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Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

There are two kinds of covenants in the Bible, and every person needs to know them.

If you are an adult, you have likely signed a contract at some point in time, perhaps for a purchase or to participate in an event of some kind. We find various contracts throughout the Bible, but they are usually called covenants. In order to understand how God makes and keeps his promises, we need to look at the biblical meaning of covenants because they are involved in all the major parts of the biblical story.

It’s easy to overlook the word covenant since it sounds antiquated and out of date, but understanding this word is the key to making sense of the entire Bible.

There are two main types of covenants in the Bible: conditional and unconditional. Let’s first look at both by using examples from everyday life today. Later, we can apply these distinctions to biblical covenants.

What is a conditional covenant?

A conditional covenant is an agreement between two or more parties that requires certain terms to be met. If the terms are met, there will be one kind of result (favorable). If the terms are not met, there will be a different result (unfavorable). Here are some examples of conditional covenants:

  • A company hires a contractor to construct an office building for a certain amount of money. If the contractor fails to complete the building as laid out in the contract agreement, the company will withhold payment to the contractor.

  • A woman hires an accountant to help her with filing a tax return. She shows up for the appointment, but the accountant chooses to spend extra time with another client and misses the appointment. The woman decides to fire the accountant and hire someone else who is more reliable.

In both cases, some type of work was expected on the part of a certain person in order to get a certain result. These conditional covenants are also called "covenants of works."

While the Mosaic covenant was an administration of the unconditional Abrahamic covenant of grace, it had a conditional aspect in respect to the physical land promise: the people of Israel needed to keep the stipulations of the covenant in order to stay in the Promised Land (see Isa. 5:1-7). They repeatedly broke the covenant and were eventually sent into exile:

For thus says the Lord GOD, "I will also do with you as you have done, you who have despised the oath by breaking the covenant.” (Ezek. 16:59)

What is an unconditional covenant?

An unconditional covenant is an agreement between two or more parties that involves no stipulations of any kind for fulfillment of the agreement. Here are two examples of unconditional covenants:

  • A father and mother promise unconditionally to pay for college in full for their child. The child’s grades and general behavior cannot affect the keeping of the promise. Even if the child is a poor student, disrespectful, or involved in some activity of which the parents disapprove, they must follow through on their commitment.

  • A person bequeaths property to another person in a will/testament, with no conditions needing to be fulfilled by the recipient to receive the property.

An unconditional covenant is also known as a "covenant of grace" or a grant. In unconditional covenants, agreement by both parties is not necessary. One party makes an oath to another person and keeps it, regardless of the opinion/wants of the other party. The Abrahamic covenant is an example of an unconditional covenant. There was nothing Abraham could do to break the covenant God made with him:

On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abram and said, “To your descendants I give this land, from the Wadi of Egypt to the great river, the Euphrates—the land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites and Jebusites.” (Gen. 15:18-21)

All people—both Christians and non-Christians—need to know whether a biblical covenant is conditional or unconditional, because this distinction determines its meaning for them personally today.

Digging Deeper: For more on the biblical covenants, check out: 8 Covenants in the Bible and What They Mean for You Personally Today


This article has been updated since its original publishing date.

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Sacred Bond: Covenant Theology Explored (Second Edition) by Michael G. Brown and Zach Keele



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Thursday, January 25, 2024

The Connection Between Jesus' Miracles, Faith, and the Coming of the Kingdom

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And he could do no mighty work there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and healed them. And he marveled because of their unbelief. — Mark 6:5-6

Why was it that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, could do no mighty work in his hometown of Nazareth?

Preaching the good news, not performing miracles, was Jesus’ main focus during his earthly ministry.

While Jesus had the divine power to heal, his ministry work was focused on proclaiming the good news of the coming of God’s kingdom:

And when it was day, he departed and went into a desolate place. And the people sought him and came to him, and would have kept him from leaving them, but he said to them, “I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose.” (Luke 4:42-43;see also Matt. 4:23)

While Jesus had the power to perform miracles, according to biblical scholar Herman Ridderbos, our Lord’s “first and highest aim is not the cure of as many people as possible in order to manifest the kingdom of God on earth, but his real task is preaching” (Ridderbos, The Coming of the Kingdomp. 117).

Jesus’ miracles were a powerful, real sign of the cosmic reality of God’s kingdom.

The common factor we see in Jesus’ miracles is faith:

…there is a close connection between a miracle wrought by Jesus and the faith of the people. They are mutually dependent. On the one hand a miracle serves to strengthen faith in Jesus’ mission and authority (cf., e.g., Mark 2:1-12). On the other hand there is no room for a miracle if it is not expected by faith. (Ridderbos, p. 117)

Miracles are inextricably connected and subordinate to the preaching of the gospel (Ridderbos, p. 120). Recognizing the relationship between Jesus’ miracles, faith, and the coming of the kingdom helps us to understand why Jesus did not perform the miracles people asked or expected him to do to prove that he was the promised Messiah when he visited his hometown of Nazareth.

The heart of Jesus’ preaching was the proclamation of the gospel for there is no salvation, and thus no part in God’s kingdom, apart from him:

Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (John 3:3)

Jesus’ miracles during his earthly ministry have continued to bolster the faith of God’s saints throughout the centuries.

Jesus’ miracles were a powerful, real sign of the cosmic reality of God’s kingdom. Christians can rejoice that these miracles served to bolster the faith of not only the people who witnessed them during Jesus’ earthly ministry but also the saints throughout the centuries who have read about them in God’s precious word. Praise God for the perfect saving work of our Lord Jesus Christ, who lived, died, conquered the grave, ascended to heaven, and will return to consummate God’s kingdom at his second coming.

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The Coming of the Kingdom by Herman N. Ridderbos



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Wednesday, January 24, 2024

Before You Pull the Ripcord on Your Marriage

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One of the church’s biggest problems is divorce. I can’t say that I’ve seen any documented statistics, but one of the mantras I’ve heard over the years is that the divorce rate is the same inside and outside the church, with about half of all marriages ending in divorce.

I have my doubts about such claims, as the churches I’ve been a part of throughout my life have had very few divorces. There have been a few but certainly nowhere near fifty percent. Nevertheless, one of the problems I have witnessed has been the speed with which couples want to pull the divorce ripcord.

Jesus allowed divorce in the case of infidelity; he did not command it.

As soon as people encounter trouble, it seems like they begin looking for the door. Or even in the face of significant trouble, such as infidelity, people want to pull the ripcord on their marriages. I remember on one occasion that a young married person was the victim of adultery. He told me, “Jesus commands me to get divorced.” I quickly responded regarding his erroneous opinion.

I told the man that Jesus allowed divorce in the case of infidelity; he did not command it. The gospel makes this clear when Jesus specifically states, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives” (Matt. 19:7). This person was in such a hurry to divorce the cheating spouse that he twisted Christ’s statement.

I understand that sexual infidelity can be devastating to a marriage—it can create havoc to the point where the only solution is divorce. Yet, we should be very circumspect about making such a decision—it’s one that should be made slowly and cautiously. Taking one’s time in such a difficult circumstance will undoubtedly be painful and stressful. But why is it important to wait?

Marriage is a portrait of Christ and the church.

In the end, we have to remember that marriage is a portrait of Christ and the church—the holy bond we share with our bridegroom (Eph. 5:25ff). How often do we sin against Christ? How often do we commit spiritual adultery? How often do we engage in idolatry? Yet, Christ, our faithful bridegroom does not give up on us.

Like Hosea the prophet and his adulterous wife, Gomer, Christ pursues us, hedges us in, and showers us with his longsuffering patience and love until we repent. This is the love that should mark all Christian marriages. We live out Christ’s love for us in our marriages when we forgive when sinned against, even when we are the victim of serious sins, such as adultery.

Pray for Christ’s grace in the midst of marital strife.

There are a host of practical benefits for staying married—the cliché rings true, “Stay together for the sake of the kids.” But all such reasons pale in comparison to the manifestation of the love of Christ and the power of forgiveness even in our marriages—even in the face of gross sins.

We live in a disposable culture—our mountainous garbage dumps and cavernous landfills testify to the speed with which we cast things aside. Marriage should not be one of those disposable things. Marriage is supposed to last a lifetime. Pray for Christ’s grace in the midst of marital strife. Pray that Christ would enable you to forgive your spouse. He has loved you first, so that you can love him and love others, especially your sinful spouse.

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This article by J. V. Fesko is adapted from “A Pastor’s Reflections: Don’t Pull the Trigger Too Fast.” For more helpful content by Dr. Fesko, please visit jvfesko.com.



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Tuesday, January 23, 2024

A Pastor’s Plea to Christian Parents: “Will You Fight for Our Young People with Me?”

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This essay comes from the heart of a pastor as a passionate plea to parents out of our shared concern for our covenant children. Some of the biggest challenges in ministry come from inside the church, particularly for parents between the ages of 45–60. There is one issue that has produced the struggle: their young people are leaving the church. Many parents have watched for years the same old story happen over and over. As soon as a young person returns from college, that child shows little to no interest in attending church. This is a source of frustration and even grief for Christian parents. I share that concern.

Challenges come to the church from inside as well as outside.

In response, parents are sometimes tempted to blame the church for the way their children now view the church. Desperate to find a way to attract their wandering children, worried parents demand the church to change in some way to attract and retain their young people. This move, church-blaming, creates an unhappy environment of disgruntlement and embarrassment along with the pressure to offer a consumer-driven Christianity. Worried parents, however, sometime give little thought to how they themselves may have contributed to the problem.

Here are five ways a pastor is committed to your children.

Here are five ways I commit to fight for the youth of our church. With God helping me,

  • I will love your young people enough to preach the whole counsel of God to them. I am committed to God’s word and I will tell them the whole truth.

  • I will call your young people to repentance and faith. This won’t be easy. Some who have yet to profess their faith will not like to be told they are wrong. The law will hurt. Some may get angry at the stances I am called to take. It may at times seem like we’re losing the battle, but I’m committed to this fight for your young people.

  • I will make known to them the riches of Jesus Christ and his gospel. They will never be left without a way of escape from judgment. I want them to enjoy Christ and his forgiveness and live in his peace.

  • I will stand for truth and expose error. I will not pander to sinful desires for false worship and golden calves. We live in day when people do not like to see a minister saying that anyone or anything is wrong, but I promise to tell them what is wrong and who is wrong (as the inspired New Testament authors did) to protect them from the path of hell.

  • I will pray for your young people. The battle for your children is one that must be fought with prayer. My door is always open for you to come to my study and pray with me for them.

Worried Christian parents can join in the spiritual fight for their children in these five positive ways.

Here are five ways parents can join in the spiritual fight for their children to help stop the trend of young people leaving the church:

  • Bring them to church and show a delight for the gospel. If you truly believe that the preaching of the gospel is the power of God to save those who believe (Rom 10:13–18; Heidelberg Catechism 65), then do all in your power to have your children in worship at a very young age. Do not let them leave to children’s church. Train their minds to listen a sermon. It is God’s way of grace to them. They must learn and see from you where the true power of God is found, in the Word. Hold it high, and they will too.

  • Speak well of your pastor and leaders. Great damage is done when you speak evil of the church, the pastor, or the leaders before your children. If you want them to have a positive view of the church, you must show them one. Please realize that before disgruntlement often comes a refusal to accept God’s word. A disgruntled and complaining spirit is a certain recipe to drive your children out.

  • Be willing to tell your children the truth and call them to repentance through loving discipline. Too many parents are scared of their young people and let them do whatever they want to do. You are responsible to discipline them and speak the truth to them in love. There is right and wrong—teach them both. If you stand for nothing, so will they. Why then would you expect them to stay in church?

  • Be an example to them in life of what it means to be godly. J.C. Ryle commenting on Lot’s worldliness says, “Lingering parents seldom have godly children. The eye of the child drinks in far more than the ear. A child will always observe what you do much more than what you say.” Be an example to them in doctrine and in life.

  • Train them and pray for them. This means gathering at the table to catechize and pray for them before their ears. It also means praying that God would give them new life by his sovereign Holy Spirit. How many people are bringing your child’s name in prayer to the throne of grace? What a tragedy if God never hears from you about the salvation of your children.

So dear parents, I made a commitment to fight for your young people. Will you?

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Core Christianity: Finding Yourself in God’s Story by Michael Horton


This article is adapted from “I Will Fight For Your Young People. Will You? A Pastor’s Plea to Christian Parents” at agradio.org.



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Monday, January 22, 2024

What Are the 3 Marks of the Church? Distinguishing between Healthy and Dangerous Consumerism

Photo by Rex Pickar on Unsplash

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

I love being a pastor. I love being able to preach God’s word and serve his people in so many ways. Yet, over the last ten years in ministry, I have seen an underlying issue in myself, as well as many of the people in the church (not just the one I serve). This is the issue of consumerism.

One of the greatest dangers to the local church today is consumerism.

Consumerism often shows itself when people share with me that they are overwhelmed with church life and need to take a step back. This often means forsaking the regular fellowship with God’s people to seek out some sort of self-realization. The heartbreaking part of watching this repeatedly over the years is the downward spiral that typically follows as people become distant from the worship service and living amongst the people of God.

Not only have I watched people become distant, I have seen them abandon the faith by “stepping back” or “figuring out what they believe.” This saddens me—and many other Christians as well—because it often shows that people aren’t actually consuming the good things God is graciously giving them. Instead, they become consumed by guilt, or worse, they go and consume what the world and the evil one offer. 

One of the greatest dangers to the local church today is consumerism. Our culture is heavily driven by a mutual understanding between ourselves and advertisement companies that we all want to want things. It’s as if we have been trained to redefine the word “want” as “need.” Whereas one hundred years ago, people needed food, shelter, and clothing, today we all “need” the latest iPhone, the right outfit, and even the perfect church.

If you have been in the church for even a couple of minutes, it doesn’t take long to identify what people believe the church “needs” to look like and function like. Even more telling is why people leave churches. Often times the perceived “needs” that aren’t being met are things like better music, a more dynamic preacher, more ministries, better coffee, and anything that somehow feeds the consumer’s desires.

Are we aware of the depth of consumerism we bring to the church?

The reality is, most of us are this way. We may have different perceived “needs” that we demand of the church, but the question is, are we aware of the depth of consumerism we bring to the church? If we can start to compare our perceived needs with what Christ’s church is actually meant to be, we can start moving towards a healthier understanding of need and avoid destroying the local church for not meeting all our expectations.   

We all have this natural disposition to be consumers. The question we should really be asking is, are we consuming things that lead to self-fulfillment and self-glory, or are we consuming the means of grace that God himself wants us to receive with glad hearts for his glory and our good?

This was one of the concerns of the Reformers and many who have followed in their footsteps. Returning to Scripture, many have tried to rightly see the Roman Catholic Church for what it was then—and is now—and move away from consumeristic tradition and return to the means of grace commanded by God in Scripture. These means of grace, also known as the marks of the church, are 1) the true preaching of the Word; 2) the right administration of the sacraments; and 3) the faithful exercise of discipline. [1]

1. True Preaching

The true preaching of the word of God is not perfect preaching. It is preaching that faithfully and honestly preaches the point of a passage the way God’s word explains it. It is preaching in such a way that people are confronted with their sin and need while also being shown Christ as the fulfillment of every passage. This is preaching in such a way that, if people would hear, by God’s grace they would believe in the gospel and the Lord Jesus Christ (Rom. 10:14-17). It is preaching the whole counsel of God and not just the preacher’s favorite topics.

In short, true preaching has such a high view of the word of God, that those preaching and those listening become convinced that as surely as the word is faithfully preached, it is as if Christ himself were preaching. We should readily consume the preaching of the word of God each Sunday. 

2. Administering the Sacraments

The right administration of the sacraments is served by the pastors and elders of the church and only to professing believers. These sacraments, baptism and the Lord’s Supper, are meant to be the visible signs and seals attached to the preached Word of God. There is nothing magical to the sacraments, but they were commanded by Christ himself (Matt. 28:19; 1 Cor. 11:23-30) as a means of grace. These are the visible reminders that we should be ready to consume joyfully, because in doing so, we are reminded of our union with Christ. 

3. Church Discipline

This third mark of a faithful church was once seen as welcome and necessary by believers. But in a consumeristic culture like ours, it is often frowned upon and seen as judgmental and unloving. Yet, Christ has given us church discipline as a means of grace that protects healthy doctrine and helps the church rightly represent him to other believers and the world.

It also purifies the church of all unrepentant sinners who prove not to be regenerate with no true love for Christ (Matt. 18:15-18; 1 Cor. 5:1-5; Tit. 3:10; Rev. 2:14-20). Even so, church discipline is meant to be restorative; its purpose is also to help members of the body of Christ by lovingly shepherding them back to faith and repentance. This accountability to continue walking with Christ is one that we should gladly welcome and consume. 

Christ loves his people and wants to feed them.

These three marks are meant to be reminders to us that Christ loves his people and wants to feed them. These are non-negotiable means of grace and growth in our lives. These are the things we should be encouraging our pastors in continuing to do, and lovingly correcting them if they are not. In these ordinary means of grace, God is coming down to us and saying, “Here I am—enjoy!”

After Peter denied the Lord Jesus three times, he came face-to-face with Peter after his resurrection. Jesus redeemed the three denials with three commands to feed his sheep (John 21:15-17). Paul, who once was consumed by self-righteousness and pride (Phil. 3:4-6), commanded the Corinthians to consume and feast on the body and blood of Jesus (1 Cor. 11:23-30). Likewise, Paul guided his churches through holiness and purity by protecting the sheep and rejecting the wolves. 

There is a healthy consumerism to be enjoyed.

The people of God today can reject worldly consumerism by pleading with the Lord to help them sit under these three marks with hunger and longing. In doing so, we are feasting on the Lord Jesus with our ears, our eyes, our taste, and our lives. To feast on the bread of life (John 6:35-39) is to trust in the Lord Jesus and the words, meals, and purity he gives us as we make our way home to our Trinitarian God.


This article was originally published on January 10, 2019.

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Notes:

[1] Louis Berkhof, Systematic Theology (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1996), 577-578. 



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Sunday, January 21, 2024

The Importance of Male Leadership in Romantic Relationships

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Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

Here are a few vital biblical principles to help you to think carefully about romantic relationships, regardless of whether you think dating or courting best facilitates the implementation of these principles.

Men: Initiate the relationship and keep on initiating.

The idea that God has designed and called men to bear a unique responsibility to lead in their relationships to women has been challenged ever since the fall (Gen. 3:16). In our contemporary context, however, there seems to be a particularly acute and nuanced resistance to this notion, and areas of male leadership that were once assumed are now questioned as outmoded at best, and patriarchal and misogynistic at worst.

Adding further difficulty to an already difficult situation is the reality that men, also since the fall, have an inward propensity toward passivity: that a man should initiate a romantic relationship and continue to initiate that relationship is a principle that often either sits uneasily upon the conscience or is simply disregarded as unimportant.

But the relational structures that God has put in place will inevitably rise to the surface of our experience, and men and women will often find they are most satisfied when the man takes the helm of leadership in the area of romance. This is not to suggest that it is wrong, in every circumstance, for a woman to take the first step; what matters is not so much who takes the first step, but whether or not the man initiates the relationship from that point going forward.

What does it mean to initiate a romantic relationship? It means, practically, to find ways to talk to the woman in whom you are interested. It means asking her to coffee, explaining your intentions, seeking her parents’ blessing, and so on. It also means that you don’t stop initiating.

Don’t stop initiating.

It is convenient for us guys, once we’ve exercised leadership a few times, to retreat back into passivity and neglect to purposefully pursue the relationship, choosing rather to let romantic momentum or our girlfriends take over. Why? Because it’s just plain easier. (And trust me: the temptation to yield to passivity in this area is a tendency you will have to fight in marriage as well.) But intentionality must characterize our conduct during the entire relationship, not just the beginning. This means that you continue to plan time together, guide the conversation to edifying topics, and regularly communicate your intentions.

In the past when I’ve asked guys about their intentions with the woman they are dating, I’ve often heard the biblical-sounding language of God’s will. “If God wills, we will get married,” or “I would really like to marry her, but only if the Lord wills,” and so on. It is good to live humbly under God’s sovereign will, for we cannot ultimately determine our future (James 4:13-18), but in his wise design, God has left it largely up to the man whether or not he will get married. Actually, this language of God’s will can often be a pious guise for fearful indecisiveness.

Be careful of defrauding your girlfriend.

Yet, merely continuing a romantic relationship is not necessarily a sign to your girlfriend that marriage is really on the horizon. I’ve seen far too many Christian men tow their girlfriend along in relational haze, neglecting to provide them with any certainty that their current dating excursion will eventually lead to marriage.

Men, when you indulge in this passive approach to dating, you will soon be guilty of defrauding your girlfriend. That is, by continuing to enjoy the benefits of the relationship—companionship, emotional intimacy, the delicate joys of romance—without clear intentions and solid plans to bring that relationship to a fitting consummation (marriage), you have become a deceiver. How can I use such strong language? Because by your reluctance to express and act on your intentions, you are giving the impression that this relationship is moving directly toward marriage, when you are actually just driving in circles.

Men, to lead in a romantic relationship means, at the most basic level, that you are dating with the express intention of determining whether or not you and your girlfriend should get married. That’s why I usually tell guys that, if they are dating, they should be ready to marry within a year to a year and a half.

Are you ready to be married in a year and a half?

So guys, ask yourself: Am I in a position to be married within the next year to eighteen months? Here are a few factors to consider:

1. Are you assured of your salvation? Are you sure you are a regenerate Christian? If not, then you are not ready to enter into a romantic relationship. Why? Because the most important aspect of your life is presently in question. You must settle this issue before you enter into a romantic relationship, because you will not be fit to lead your girlfriend and future wife while you are on such shaky spiritual ground.

2. Can you provide for a wife? Are you able to provide for a wife or be in a position to provide for a wife within the next year to eighteen months? If not, you are not really ready to be dating. College freshmen who believe they met their future wives at orientation may balk at this statement. But the fact of the matter is that if you can’t get married within the next year and a half, you are in a precarious position: either your relationship grows and you both find yourselves without an appropriate outlet for your maturing affections, or your relationship sputters and stalls because there is no immediate hope for marriage.

3. Are you walking in sexual purity? The primary question here is whether you are presently caught in the habit of viewing pornography. Are you ensnared in the daily, weekly, or monthly habit of viewing pornography for the sake of sexual stimulation and satisfaction? If so, then you are not yet ready to be in a romantic relationship.

4. Are you firmly established in and accountable to the local church? Are you well rooted into your local church, under the spiritual care of your pastors and elders, and accountable to a group of believers within that congregation? I place this question on the list of considerations because God has designed the local church to be the place where our faith is grown, sustained, protected, and preserved (Heb. 3:12-15; 10:23-24). If you are detached from the local church, you will soon be spiritually adrift and taking your girlfriend with you.

If you find that you have answered “no” to one or more of these questions, do not allow yourself to be swallowed up in despair. Rather, ask yourself: What is keeping me from changing my “no” to “yes” in each case? The answer is nothing. God has given you every resource you need to have the assurance of your salvation, to provide for yourself and for a family, to put sexual sin to death, and to develop gospel relationships in your local church. Instead of focusing on unproductive self-loathing, let these questions spur you on to greater diligence in these areas.


This article was originally published under the title "Christian Dating and Courtship, Part 1: Leadership" at fromthestudy.com.

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Friday, January 19, 2024

Spirit-Led Self-Control vs. Being Out of Control

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Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

Self-control is a gift given by God and found in the list of fruits of the Spirit written in Galatians 5:22-23. But what exactly does God mean when he includes self-control in the list of virtues given to his beloved people by the Holy Spirit?

Godly self-control involves not allowing emotional impulses to control us.

The Greek word translated “self-control” means to be able to restrain one’s emotions and impulses or desires. Often in the ancient world this referred to sexual desires, but broadly speaking it surely means being in control of oneself and not allowing emotional impulses to control us. Those impulses, besides sexual desires, often lead to angry outbursts, irresponsible purchases, and rash decisions made without careful contemplation.

We may say that someone is "out of control” when we see the person acting in a manner that displays high emotion and a mind closed off to the wisdom of others or experience. We may also discern that a person is “out of control” when patterns of behavior emerge over time that display poor judgment, such as a series of rash and poor decisions, behaviors that harm, and actions that reveal impulsiveness without thinking.

Godly self-control involves the discipline of not yielding to our sinful desires.

On the other hand, self-control can be thought of as a form of self-discipline. The apostle Peter writes,

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness. (2 Pet. 1:5-6)

The “reason” Peter gives (v. 5) is because God by faith in Christ Jesus has granted his people “all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Pet. 1:3). He goes on to write that God fulfilled his promise to lead his people out of “corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire” (2 Pet. 1:4). In these verses Peter is contrasting “self-control” with “sinful desire.” The Greek word we translate into sinful desire often means lustfulness or an inordinate craving for something. Self-control, though, means not yielding to those desires—it means having restraint over one’s cravings, whether they be of a sexual nature, materialistic (coveting), or envious. It also means being in control of our emotions.

Focusing on God’s law and what is pleasing to him helps us with self-control.

Now, how does God lead us to the particular fruit of self-control? One way is through God’s word given to us in Scripture, especially the law of God that directs us on how to please our heavenly Father. The law of God instructs us how to control ourselves when there is risk that temptations may overtake us.

For example, anger often reveals a person’s lack of self-control. In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ teaches us that such anger violates the sixth commandment against murder (Exod. 20:13; Matt. 5:21-22). Lustful sexual desires transgress the seventh commandment against adultery (Exod. 20:14; Matt. 5:27-28). Inordinate desires display a lack of self-control and break the tenth commandment against coveting (Exod. 20:17; Rom. 7:7). Knowing God’s law, thinking about it, and striving to please God by keeping his law are all ways God uses to help us with self-control.

God’s providential and sovereign ruling of our lives trains us through discipline toward self-control.

One other way God’s Spirit bears the fruit of self-control in our lives is through wisdom, especially what is found in the wisdom books of the Bible such as Proverbs. The Hebrew word that is normally translated “discipline” means training, warning, or exhortation. The wisdom of God and his providential and sovereign ruling of our lives train us through discipline toward self-control. For example, consider these wise sayings:

For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life. (Prov. 6:23)

Take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold. (Prov. 8:10)

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. (Prov. 12:1)

When we risk losing self-control, the Lord disciplines us—he instructs us and trains us by the power of the Spirit working through his word. The Lord’s discipline leads his people to live with self-control rather than with the sinfulness of outbursts, impulsiveness, lustfulness, or rashness. Through God’s word, his law, and his wisdom, the Spirit bears the fruit of self-control in those who are his through faith in our Savior Christ Jesus.


This article originally appeared in BCL’s September 2023 monthly newsletter “Self-Control.”

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