Antonio Molinari (1655–1704), David and Abigail; image from Wikimedia Commons; .
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Some women think that because they can’t be pastors they’re not as valued as men, that they can’t make a difference in the world and in the church like a man can. Yet, as we learn from the life of Abigail in 1 Samuel 25, women can—and do—make a tremendous difference, contributing to the good and flourishing of those God has placed in their lives.
In 1 Samuel 25 we read about how David’s men had been guarding the livestock and shepherds of the foolish man Nabal in Carmel. David’s request for sustenance for himself and his men on the feast day is refused and mocked by Nabal. This leads David to react not only in just anger but also to seek unrighteous revenge against Nabal and his men by setting out to kill them all (1 Sam. 25:2-23, 21-22). Thankfully, the beautiful and wise Abigail convinces David not to commit this terrible sin of bloodguilt.
1. Abigail is discerning and beautiful but in a difficult marriage.
Now the name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. The woman was discerning and beautiful, but the man was harsh and badly behaved; he was a Calebite. (1 Sam. 25:3)
Scripture speaks of both Abigail’s beauty and discernment. To be discerning requires knowledge, experience, and wisdom. Acquiring these attributes takes time and diligence; it involves spending time with other wise people who have faced various challenges in life and learning from them. Christian women today also need to build their skills of discernment, all the while realizing this is a skill that we never stop developing as we live in this world.
2. Abigail is trusted by the young men who serve her family.
But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal's wife, “Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to greet our master, and he railed at them. Yet the men were very good to us, and we suffered no harm, and we did not miss anything when we were in the fields, as long as we went with them. They were a wall to us both by night and by day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep. Now therefore know this and consider what you should do, for harm is determined against our master and against all his house, and he is such a worthless man that one cannot speak to him.” (1 Sam. 25:14-17)
People are always observing our character, whether we think they are or not. One of the servants had obviously noticed that Abigail is a wise and courageous woman and informs her of David’s anger over her husband Nabal’s foolishness and stupidity. The servant clearly hopes Abigail will take the needed action in this dire moment.
People are watching us as Christian women today as well, including how we handle tough aspects of life. Godly women have a reputation of being someone others can turn to for help in an emergency or a particularly delicate situation that requires nuance and quick thinking.
3. Abigail is a leader.
And she said to her young men, “Go on before me; behold, I come after you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal. (1 Sam. 25:19)
We can take note of two things here right away: 1) Abigail is in charge of the men; and 2) she doesn’t tell her husband what she is doing or ask his permission to do it.
Abigail isn’t afraid to take charge and guide the people who work for her in doing what is both right and expedient. Time is of the essence here, and Abigail recognizes that telling her husband would be extremely unwise. Her husband has displayed such foolish judgment that it is too risky to confide in him. Making this decision takes a tremendous amount of courage. While most of us won’t find ourselves facing a situation like Abigail did, there are times in life when we also may have take the initiative and make difficult judgment calls.
4. Abigail is decisive and proactive.
Then Abigail made haste and took two hundred loaves and two skins of wine and five sheep already prepared and five seahs of parched grain and a hundred clusters of raisins and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on donkeys. And she said to her young men, “Go on before me; behold, I come after you.” (1 Sam. 25:18-19)
Abigail doesn’t wring her hands, wondering what she should do; rather, it’s obvious what needs to be done and she springs into action. In Abigail we see someone who is meek and strong, humble and courageous, all at the same time. She has resources at her disposal and she uses them for good. Abigail wisely sends the gift of bread, wine, meat, and fruitcakes ahead as a way to help David calm down at least somewhat before she speaks with him.
5. Abigail is courageous.
When Abigail saw David, she hurried and got down from the donkey and fell before David on her face and bowed to the ground. (1 Sam. 25:23)
It takes tremendous courage for Abigail to approach David, a strong and mighty man who was seething with anger. Yet, any fear she might have had is set aside due to the dire urgency of the situation and her care and concern for all the men whose lives were at risk.
6. Abigail is humble.
In verse 23 we also read that Abigail bows down to David, deftly pleads for his mercy, and the end result is that many lives are saved and Abigail is honored, even to the point of eventually becoming David’s wife after Nabal’s death. Abigail’s humility is not something she does just to get David to listen to her; rather, it is part of her character. She also humbly refers to herself as David’s servant numerous times in her discourse.
Peter Paul Rubens (1577–1640), The Meeting of David and Abigail; image from Wikimedia Commons.
7. Abigail is honest and forthright.
“Let not my lord regard this worthless fellow, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name, and folly is with him. But I your servant did not see the young men of my lord, whom you sent.” (1 Sam. 25:25)
Abigail isn’t being disrespectful to her husband in telling David about Nabal’s terrible character; rather, she is telling David these things so that he will better understand the situation for what it is: the result of one man’s foolish behavior. She makes it clear to David that she had no knowledge of David’s request for provisions until she was later informed of it by a servant.
8. Abigail knows about the Lord’s plan to make David king of Israel.
“Now then, my lord, as the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, because the Lord has restrained you from bloodguilt and from saving with your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be as Nabal. And now let this present that your servant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who follow my lord. Please forgive the trespass of your servant. For the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live. If men rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord your God. And the lives of your enemies he shall sling out as from the hollow of a sling. And when the Lord has done to my lord according to all the good that he has spoken concerning you and has appointed you prince over Israel, my lord shall have no cause of grief or pangs of conscience for having shed blood without cause or for my lord working salvation himself. And when the Lord has dealt well with my lord, then remember your servant.” (1 Sam. 25:26-31)
Abigail is confident that David will be the next king of Israel. She knows he is God’s chosen one, and she wants to keep David’s conscience clear. Abigail doesn’t think these kinds of matters are just for men to know about, so she pleads with David not to sinfully over-react in his anger over Nabal’s disrespect.
She reminds David that the Lord will fight for him. Abigail understands the holiness of God and the requirement that God’s anointed king over Israel remain righteous. And she isn’t afraid to make a petition for herself—specifically for David to remember her (1 Sam. 25:31).
9. Abigail images Christ.
She fell at his feet and said, “On me alone, my lord, be the guilt. Please let your servant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your servant. (1 Sam. 25:24)
Abigail is innocent; yet, she takes upon herself the guilt of her husband, a fool. In this, she images Christ, for he came to serve and take our sin upon his innocent self.
Here we have a woman who is a type of Christ, not as a prophet, priest, or king, but most certainly as a sacrificial lamb offering herself as an atonement for the sin of another.
10. Abigail is discreet.
And David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! Blessed be your discretion, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodguilt and from working salvation with my own hand!” (1 Sam. 25:32-33)
And Abigail came to Nabal, and behold, he was holding a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. And Nabal's heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk. So she told him nothing at all until the morning light. (1 Sam. 25:36)
In verses 32-33, David praises Abigail for her discretion. Abigail recognizes that there is a time to speak and a time to be silent; she also knows that it matters how something is said. She is like the Proverbs 31 woman who speaks with wisdom (Prov. 31:26). Likewise, in 1 Samuel 25:36 Abigail wisely doesn’t discuss all that happened between David and her while her husband is inebriated but instead patiently waits until the morning to inform him.
11. Abigail’s actions keep God’s servant David from bloodguilt, saving many lives.
“For as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has restrained me from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, truly by morning there had not been left to Nabal so much as one male. Then David received from her hand what she had brought him. And he said to her, “Go up in peace to your house. See, I have obeyed your voice, and I have granted your petition.” (1 Sam. 25:34-35)
David listens to Abigail and obeys her counsel. He blesses both God and Abigail out of his gratitude for her intervention. He acknowledges her wisdom and sends her home in peace.
12. Abigail trusts God come what may.
When the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel, they said to her, “David has sent us to you to take you to him as his wife.” And she rose and bowed with her face to the ground and said, “Behold, your handmaid is a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.” (1 Sam. 25:40-41)
Abigail didn’t know if she would live the rest of her life with a fool for a husband. Yet, she trusts God come what may and is still humble even when she finds out she is going to be David’s wife. Clearly, Abigail is a woman who puts God first, and we do well to follow her example.
When we find ourselves in life circumstances that seem as though they will never change, we can focus as Abigail did on God’s faithfulness and honoring him in all things. As God’s precious children, may we continue growing in knowledge of biblical truth and wisdom and keep trusting that God has a plan for our good, whether we can see it or not at any given point in time, for he has promised never to leave us nor forsake us (Heb. 13:5).
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