3 Good Things to Do When You Need to Make a Decision

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Have you ever had to make an important decision and felt stuck as to what to do? Perhaps you stood at a crossroads with two paths before you, and you didn't know which one to take. 

You may have asked yourself questions like, Do I take this job or that job? Sell the house or stay? Trust the doctor or get a second opinion? Serve in this ministry or another? Send our children to this or that school? Have our parents move in or find them alternative living arrangements? 

When my thyroid biopsy came back as inconclusive, the doctor recommended surgery. (I wrote about that here). He said it was the only way to know for certain whether the growth was cancerous or not. He gave me numbers and statistics (none of which I understood) and said we could remove the growth or wait and see, but he recommended surgery. I had a decision to make. Do I have the surgery? Or do I test and retest and wait and see? Do I trust the numbers and statistics? Do I trust the doctor? 

I don't know about you, but when I have a decision to make, my mind is consumed with it. It vacillates back and forth between the options. It's all I can think about. I worry and fret and mull over it. I lie awake at night unable to sleep. I consider all the potential consequences to the choices. What I want most of all is for a clear answer to step up and knock me on the head. Because what I really fear is making the wrong choice. 

And so I wondered, what is God's will in this? What does he want me to do?

How are God’s will and making decisions related to each other?

Theologians often refer to God's will in terms of his sovereign (decretive) will and his preceptive (or revealed) will. God's sovereign will refers to the fact that he ordains all things. Everything is under his control, including every detail of our lives. Nothing can or will happen outside of his will. He is never surprised or taken off guard by what happens. Whatever choice we make, we can be sure it is God's will.

The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD. (Prov. 16:33)

We don't know God's sovereign will.

The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law. (Deut. 29:29)

We don't know his plan for us for tomorrow, next week, or next year. His secret will is not for us to know. Yet, as believers, we can take great comfort in the doctrine of God's sovereignty. That's because not only is God sovereign, but he is also our good Father who loves us. He always does what is right and good for us. Whatever decisions we make, we can be assured that God will use it for our good and his glory (Rom. 8:28-29). 

God’s preceptive will is his revealed will in the Bible.

God’s preceptive will is the will that God wants us to know. Everything we need to know for living in this world is written in those pages. There's no missing information we have to seek out in mysterious unknown places. It's not hidden somewhere—like in a scavenger hunt—and we just have to find it. It's all there.

The Bible teaches us what is sinful and what is not. It tells us the purpose for our life: to glorify God. It tells us how to treat others, how to steward what he has provided, how to love our family, how to live and work and rest. Most of all, the Bible shows us our greatest need—redemption from sin—and reveals our great Savior, whose life, death, and resurrection are sufficient to free us from sin and enable us to live in righteousness.

God's word also teaches us about the Spirit who lives within us, producing the fruit of holiness and helping us to daily put sin to death. Ultimately, God's will for our life is that we grow in holiness—that we become more like Christ. 

When we struggle with making a decision and ask, "What is God's will in this?" often we want to know what pleases God—what he desires from us. We want his direction. We want to know if he desires us to choose A over B or B over A. This is an area where we often get stuck when we have to make a decision.

We want to know the future before it happens.

Knowing the future is an area of God's will we can't know and don't need to know. The Bible is concerned with the moral decisions we make. It teaches us the way of holiness. The decisions we make that are not about moral decisions—such as, should we move to this or that city—are ones we simply need to make using the wisdom God has produced in us. We need to trust his sovereign will and obey his preceptive will. And the specific plans he has for our lives, we need to leave in his hands.  

Obsessing over the future is not how God wants us to live, because showing us the future is not God's way. His way is to speak to us in the Scriptures and transform us by the renewing of our minds. His way is not a crystal ball. His way is wisdom. We should stop looking for God to reveal the future to us and remove all risk from our lives. We should start looking to God—His character and His promises—and thereby have confidence to take risks for His name’s sake. (Kevin DeYoung, Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will [Moody Press, 2009], 39)

First, we need to know where wisdom is found.

So what should we do when we have to make a difficult decision? First, we need to know where wisdom is found. God's word tells us that wisdom originates in him. God is the source and fountain of wisdom. John 1:14 tells us that God's Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Jesus is wisdom incarnate. Isaiah prophesied about him,

And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. (Isa. 11:2)

Paul tells us that Christ is our wisdom.

And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption. (1 Cor. 1:30)

He says something similar in Colossians 3:2.

Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

When we don't know what to do, when we fail to do the right thing, when we freeze in fear over making a decision, we can be at peace because Christ has already interceded for us through his perfectly obedient life lived for us and perfect sacrificial death on our behalf. He also gave us his Spirit who is at work in us, helping us to desire wisdom, teaching us the way of wisdom through the Word, and enabling us to walk in it. 

When we have a decision to make, we need to turn to God's word. As we read and study Scripture, we can ask ourselves: Is this choice sinful? By choosing this, am I doing something God has told me not to do or failing to do something God has told me to do? Does it conflict with God's calling on my life? Another question to ask is, will this choice bring God glory? Will it honor him?

We can also ask ourselves, What does the Bible tell me about Christ—who he is and what he has done? How can I apply these gospel truths to my decision making? We can be assured that as we study God’s word, and as our minds are conformed to it, we will discern what God's will is:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Rom. 12:2)

Secondly, we should always seek God in prayer about our decisions.

We should ask our heavenly Father for wisdom and discernment. We should ask that our choices and actions bring him glory. As Paul prayed for the Ephesians, we can pray for spiritual wisdom, seeking to know and understand the hope we have in the gospel,

that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 1:17-20)

And, as Jesus taught us, we should pray that God's will would be done (Matt. 6:10).

Thirdly, we should ask others who are wise in God’s word to advise us in making decisions.

God has not left us alone. He's given us brothers and sisters in the body of Christ who can give us the wisdom they have gleaned from Scripture. Many older and wiser believers have had to make difficult decisions in their lives, and there is much we can learn from them:

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. (Prov. 15:22; see also Titus 2)

I remember a college professor once talking to our class about choosing between A and B. In the example he gave, it was the choice between attending two colleges. He said that if a choice is not sinful, if we have prayed and sought God's word for wisdom, as well as the wisdom of others, then we just make a choice. We simply move forward.

Such a choice is not a moral one (unless of course, one choice is sinful or would keep us from glorifying God). We make our decision and trust that God will use the decision for his glory and our good. We rest in his sovereign control over all things because we know that he is good and loves us. We remember the gospel and who we are in Christ, knowing that nothing can separate us from God's love. 

In the end, I chose to have surgery. And I'm thankful to report that the growth was not cancerous. Though it wasn't an easy decision to make, the process of thinking and praying through the decision reminded me of my need for Christ, my dependence upon him, and his daily provision of grace for me. I rested in the truth of his sovereignty and that nothing would happen apart from his will for me.

I am certain that more difficult decisions loom on the horizon for me, as they do for all of us. But God has provided all we need for the journey, and we can move forward in confidence, not in ourselves and our own wisdom but in the wisdom of Christ revealed to us in God’s word.

Related Articles:

• The Secret of Knowing God's Will

• 2 Amazing Aspects of Prayer Christians Should Always Remember

• 3 Things to Remember When You Feel Like God Is Far Away

Recommended:

Idols of a Mother’s Heart (Focus for Women) by Christina Fox

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This article is adapted from “God’s Wisdom and Decision Making” at christinafox.com.

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10 People in the Bible Who Were Both Humble and Courageous

Peter Paul Rubens (1577–1640), The Meeting of David and Abigail; image from Wikimedia Commons.

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

Humble and courageous people put others before themselves. They aren’t interested in seeking power for themselves either. While there any many more examples besides those in this list, here are ten people in the Bible who showed both humility and courage in their devotion to loving God and their neighbor.

1. Moses

Jean-Léon Gérôme (1824-1904), Moses on Mount Sinai; image from Wikimedia Commons; .

In Numbers 12 we read how Moses’ own brother and sister, Aaron and Miriam, reviled and slandered him before all of Israel and before the Lord. They attacked Moses and wanted him demoted.

And how did Moses respond? He didn’t; he was as quiet as a docile mouse. Moses didn’t fight for his honor; he didn’t let his pride get wounded and strike out. Instead, he let God defend him. Even though Moses had power and authority, he refused to use the power for himself. He chose to trust in God. And when the Lord punished Miriam, Moses asked for leniency and mercy.

Moses didn’t want his sister to suffer the full brunt of the law. This is meekness which he also showed during the golden calf debacle in Exodus 32. In a just and controlled anger, Moses rightly broke the covenant tablets at the horrible adultery of the people. Meekness is not shy to correct what is wrong; rather, it is bold.

Yet, Moses’ manner of correction was gentle, merciful, and seeking good. When the Lord was going to destroy Israel and told Moses to stand aside, Moses courageously stepped in between to intercede for mercy. Meekness eschews power, especially as the world uses power:

When the cloud removed from over the tent, behold, Miriam was leprous, like snow. And Aaron turned toward Miriam, and behold, she was leprous. And Aaron said to Moses, “Oh, my lord, do not punish us because we have done foolishly and have sinned. Let her not be as one dead, whose flesh is half eaten away when he comes out of his mother's womb.” And Moses cried to the Lord, “O God, please heal her—please.” (Num. 12:10-13)

If any mere human had a valid claim to be full of pride, it would be Moses. He had the special honor of intimately conversing with God on Mount Sinai and in the tent of meeting (Exod. 33); “the skin of his face shone because he had been talking with God” (Exod. 34:29). Yet, Scripture tells us that “the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth” (Num. 12:3).

2. Hannah

Zvonimir Atletic / Shutterstock.com; for editorial use only

Hannah endured much suffering because, “The Lord had closed her womb” (1 Sam. 1:6) She was taunted for years by the other wife of her husband, Peninnah, who did have children (1 Sam. 1:7). When Hannah and her husband Elkanah made their yearly trek to the temple at Shiloh, Hannah prayed to the Lord in her deep distress and bitterness, humbly sharing her heart with him. Hannah was not afraid to boldly ask the Lord to give her a child which he did, namely, the prophet Samuel:

After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. And she vowed a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.” As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.”But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. (1 Sam. 1:9–15)

Samuel grew up to become a prophet of God. He anointed Saul and David as kings of Israel and spoke God’s word to the people of Israel.

3. David

King David playing the harp; Peter Paul Rubens (1577-1640); from Wikimedia Commons – U.S. work public domain in the U.S.

In 1 Samuel 24 we read abut how David could have killed Saul in the cave in the wilderness in Engedi, but instead David only quietly cut off a piece of Saul’s robe (1 Sam. 24:4). Saul had been pursuing David for some time in order to kill him. David even felt stricken in his conscience for cutting Saul’s robe because Saul was the Lord’s annointed (1 Sam. 24:5-6). This was David’s big opportunity to end his being pursued by Saul and take the kingdom for himself, but instead David was humble. He called Saul his “Lord and king,” bowed his face, and paid homage to Saul (1 Sam. 24:8):

See, my father, see the corner of your robe in my hand. For by the fact that I cut off the corner of your robe and did not kill you, you may know and see that there is no wrong or treason in my hands. I have not sinned against you, though you hunt my life to take it. May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you. (1 Sam. 24:11-12)

David eventually did become king of Israel in God’s perfect timing, not his own.

4. Abigail

Peter Paul Rubens (1577–1640), The Meeting of David and Abigail; image from Wikimedia Commons.

In 1 Samuel 25:3 we read about Abigail, who was “discerning and beautiful.” Abigail was married to Nabal, a rich man who was “harsh and badly behaved.” David had done a big kindness in looking after Nabal’s shepherds in Carmel and he sent word to Nabal asking for food and drink for his men in return. Nabal, however, thought David’s request was absurd, and he demeaned David. This angered David so much that he set out to kill all the males that belonged to Nabal.

Thankfully, one of the shepherds informed Abigail about all that was taking place, and Abigail immediately went into action—she gathered up generous portions of food and wine for David and his men and traveled with her servants to meet David:

When Abigail saw David, she hurried and got down from the donkey and fell before David on her face and bowed to the ground. (1 Sam. 25:23)

David was not only overwhelmed by the humility and respect Abigail showed toward him, but he was also thankful to Abigail for keeping him from bloodguilt. He obeyed Abigail’s voice, granted her petition, and later married Abigail after the Lord struck Nabal dead soon afterward. Here are some of the words Abigail spoke to David in her petition:

And now let this present that your servant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who follow my lord. Please forgive the trespass of your servant. For the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live.If men rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord your God. And the lives of your enemies he shall sling out as from the hollow of a sling. (1 Sam. 25:27-29)

Abigail is one of the shining examples in Scripture of what it means to be a godly woman who fears the Lord.

5. Isaiah

Fresco of the prophet Isaiah in the cupola of Cattedrala di Santa Croce by Giovanni Secchi (1876 - 1950); photo by Renata Sedmakova / Shutterstock.com

In the sixth chapter of the book of Isaiah, we read about Isaiah’s vision of the Lord sitting upon his throne in the temple. Isaiah immediately recognizes his total unworthiness to be in the presence of God and he says the following words:

And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” (Isa. 6:5)

One of God’s seraphim flies over to Isaiah with a burning coal he has taken from the altar with tongs. The seraphim places the coal on Isaiah’s lips so that Isaiah’s guilt will be taken away and his sin atoned for (Isa. 6:6-7).

6. Daniel

Peter Paul Rubens (1577-1640), Daniel in the Lion’s Den; National Gallery of Art; image from Wikimedia Commons.

The account of Daniel in the lion’s den (Daniel 6) is one of the most beloved passages in the Bible and for good reason: Daniel stood his ground and put obeying God first and foremost. When the people of Judah were living in exile in Babylon, Daniel continued to pray to the Lord daily, even though his enemies tricked King Darius into signing a law that would result in Daniel’s death for doing so. Darius put Daniel into the lion’s den with the hope that Daniel’s God would save him, and God protected Daniel from all harm. The king knew with certainty that Daniel’s God is the living God. The evil plans of the King’s officials and satraps were foiled, and Darius placed all who had sought to destroy Daniel, along with their wives and children, into the den to be destroyed by the lions.

The king declared to Daniel, “O Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to deliver you from the lions?” Then Daniel said to the king, “O king, live forever! My God sent his angel and shut the lions' mouths, and they have not harmed me, because I was found blameless before him; and also before you, O king, I have done no harm.” Then the king was exceedingly glad, and commanded that Daniel be taken up out of the den. So Daniel was taken up out of the den, and no kind of harm was found on him, because he had trusted in his God. (Daniel 6:20-23)

Instead of trying to defend himself or outsmart the king’s officials and satraps who meant him harm, Daniel continued to worship the Lord, trusting in him alone for salvation.

7. Mary

Peter Paul Rubens (1577-1640), Daniel in the Lion’s Den; National Gallery of Art; image from Wikimedia Commons.

In Luke 1 we read about how the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary to tell her she would give birth to the “Son of the Most High,” whose kingdom would have no end (Luke 1:26-33). Mary asked the angel how this could be since she was still a virgin:

And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. (Luke 1:35-38)

Even though Mary was merely a young girl and greatly favored by God, her heart was focused on serving God and honoring him. In a beautiful song of praise known as the Magnificat, she gave thanks to the Lord for being chosen to bear the incarnate Son of God (Luke 1:46–55).

8. Jesus

Image by Shutterstock.com

No one else could ever possess more humility or courage than Jesus. Even though he was God, he willingly humbled himself to be born in the flesh to save us from our guilt and condemnation. Jesus resolutely went to the cross and endured the most terrible torture and humiliation ever, even though he was innocent:

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Phil. 2:5-11)

Throughout the gospels, we never read about Jesus seeking power for himself. He prayed to the Father to glorify him so that he would bring glory to the Father (John 17:1-5).

9. Peter

Photo by Jeremy Perkins on Unsplash

When Peter witnessed Jesus’ miracle of the great catch of fish, he knew he was standing in the presence of God and immediately responded with humility:

But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” (Luke 5:8)

Like Peter, we need to realize that there is nothing about us that is untouched by our depraved sin nature and how impossible it is for us to stand before God on our own merits—this is when we run to the foot of the cross and cling to Christ, our only hope.

Sadly, when asked if he was a follower of Jesus on the night of Jesus’ arrest, Peter denied even knowing his Lord not once but three times (Luke 22:54-62). His betrayal of Jesus caused Peter to weep bitterly and is one of the most humbling accounts we find in the Bible. Yet, Jesus forgave Peter and the apostle went on to faithfully preach the gospel boldly at Pentecost (Acts 2:14-41) and to do miracles in Jesus’ name.

10. Paul

Painting of St Paul by Jan Lievens, 1627-1629, National Museum (Photo: Erik Cornelius), public domain; image from Wikimedia Commons

Before becoming a Christian, the apostle Paul held a lot of status as a Jew:

Though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. (Phil. 3:4-6)

Yet, after becoming a follower of Christ Jesus, Paul realized that all of these accolades in the eyes of his culture meant nothing:

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith. (Phil. 3:7-9)

The only thing that mattered to Paul was belonging to Christ, and that is the only thing that should matter to all who have faith in Christ as their Savior.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. (1 John 2:16-17)

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Godly Authority: How to Have a Mostly “Functionally Egalitarian” Marriage (Part 2)

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Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

What can we learn about the meaning and exercising of godly authority in marriage from the mission of an airline pilot? Actually, a lot.

In this article, which is part two of a series, I want to continue interacting with the assertion that healthy Christian marriages in which the husband and wife hold to the complementarian view actually function in a non-hierarchical way. In other words, such marriages are “functionally egalitarian” (please see part one of this series for more background on this discussion).

Considerable debate exists regarding what is involved in exercising authority as a husband and a father.

While Christian marriage is not egalitarian in nature, it can appear to be so at times due to the outstanding teamwork of both spouses. Some people, however, view any kind of authority structure in the marital union as involving the exercising of power, which is considered domineering and oppressive.

Sadly, some complementarians have promoted troublesome, silly, and even heretical teachings regarding what godly husbandly authority is and how it is exercised in-real-life, such as attempting to use the errant doctrine of the eternal subordination of the Son (ESS) to affirm male headship, asserting that women shouldn’t speak their minds based upon 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 and 1 Timothy 2:11-12, going so far as to say that husbands must make their wives submit to them, and that husbands need to review the content their wives view because women are “easily deceived” (per 1 Tim. 2:14).[1]

Rather than lording himself over his wife, a godly husband will want his wife to flourish; he will want her to excel in godly character; and he will want her to enjoy him. He will strive to love his wife, honor her, cherish her, and be willing to give his life for her (see Eph. 5:25-29). Anne Kennedy makes this very point in a recent article for the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood’s journal Eikon:

Male headship is not, in complementarian circles, “construed as control and dominance,” whatever egalitarians may say about it. Rather, it is the biblical model that follows in the way of Jesus, who laid down his life for his friends. These friends he made by his shed blood into his Bride, the Church. Jesus doesn’t control and dominate the church, but he most certainly has authority over how believers order their common life. The authority and headship of Jesus, as revealed in the perspicacity of his own Word, is the measure of the church today, no matter what happened in the past. (Kennedy, “Reinterpreting Church History: A Response to Mimi Haddad, ‘History Matters,’” June 22, 2023)

If the knee-jerk egalitarian response to authority is to view it as “control and dominance,” then, of course, authority is not going to be viewed as something good but rather something to be squashed and repudiated. Thus, any discussion of biblical male headship in marriage raises the question regarding what is involved in exercising authority as a husband and father.

We can glean a lot about the proper exercising of authority in general by looking at an airline captain’s mission.

Because God has created the world and in his design there is loving authority on his part and submission on the part of his creation, we shouldn’t be surprised to find authority structures in the common realm of secular society. In a well-ordered society, these structures are put in place for the good and flourishing of those under that particular authority. One such example is found in the operation of commercial airliners. My husband was a commercial airline pilot for about 35 years, and over the years of observing his commitment to his work I have noticed numerous similarities between the vocation of an airline captain and the vocations of a husband and a father. Indeed, by looking at an airline captain’s mission we can glean a lot about the proper exercising of authority in general.

The mission of an airline captain encompasses everyone for whom he or she is responsible. The airline captain is responsible to ensure everyone on board arrives safely at the intended destination, and also for maintaining the safety of others traveling nearby in the skies as well as the people on the ground. This requires orderliness and teamwork.

An airline captain’s authority is limited by operational protocols. In an emergency, however, he can exercise his authority based upon his assessment of the situation and must answer for any actions taken when the flight is completed.

We saw an example of this on January 15, 2009, when US Airways Flight 1549 struck a flock of birds and the plane lost power in both engines. Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger and First Officer Jeffrey Skiles began a heroic unpowered ditch into the Hudson River around ninety seconds after impact. The National Transportation Safety Board investigated the incident, and Sully was vindicated in his decision to ditch in the Hudson rather than return to LaGuardia Airport. Not one passenger was killed in the landing of US Airways Flight 1549 and both pilots and all the flight attendants received numerous awards for their heroism.

Every airline employee has specific duties on a flight and a chain of command helps leadership maintain order and navigate problems that arise for the safety and comfort of everyone involved. And why all this need for order and structure on a commercial airline flight? The answer is obvious: when things go wrong on a flight, the situation can become a matter of life or death in seconds.

There is no such thing as egalitarianism when it comes to operating an airplane.

Without a chain of command, or table of organization, chaos could erupt on an airplane, with everyone doing what they think is optimal to the detriment of others on board and anyone else affected by the flight. There is no such thing as egalitarianism when it comes to operating an airplane. The passengers don’t tell the pilots or flight attendants what to do; rather, it’s the other way around. And passengers submit to the authority of the flight crew because they are wise enough to recognize that authority is put in place for their own safety and well-being. Everyone needs to know their duties so that the best outcome can be achieved if at all possible.

Just as every passenger who boards a plane submits to the limited and legitimate authority of the captain in charge of the flight, so we also submit to the limited and legitimate authority of people we interact with in various aspects of life, including in family and marriage. Just as airline pilots can only exercise their authority within the boundaries set for them, this should also be the case when it comes to any human exercising of authority.

We see this play out in the movie A Few Good Men, in which a young United States Marine Corps private dies from being tied up and beaten as the result of a “code red” order given by the base commander to punish him for breaking the chain of command to request a transfer off the base. The two United States Marine Corps enlisted men who carried out the “code red” order, which was given to them by their platoon commander, trusted their superiors to rightly exercise their authority, but their superiors let them down. The superiors’ wrongful orders caused the death of one Marine, the two enlisted Marines to be dishonorably discharged, and the base commander and platoon commander to be arrested for their abuse of authority. At the end of the story, one of the dishonorably discharged Marines struggles to understand the sentencing because he followed orders. The other discharged Marine tells him what they did wrong: “We were supposed to fight for people who couldn’t fight for themselves.”

In a rightly ordered military organization, trust is essential since the people under authority cannot know everything their superiors know in any given situation. To abuse such trust for sinful purposes causes a breakdown of the chain of command. This is why accountability is essential in any organization or unit where authority and submission are present. People who are victims of the abuse of authority will struggle to trust those who are placed in authority over them.

Another example of the good and bad use of authority—and the subsequent accountability—occurred in the life of General George Patton. Patton was a famous battlefield commander who used his authority for great good in leading his troops to help defeat the Third Reich in World War II. Yet, he also misused his authority by striking two soldiers under his command for what he viewed as cowardly behavior during the Sicily Campaign. General Patton was held accountable, disciplined accordingly, and ordered by General Dwight D. Eisenhower to apologize to the two men who were combat stress patients at an evacuation hospital.

The right exercising of authority involves the help of those under that authority.

On a commercial airliner, the first officer (i.e., copilot) must know how to do everything the captain does, as he or she may be called on to perform the captain’s duties at any point in time. Likewise, it would be impossible for a cockpit crew to manage all the passengers on a larger airplane without the experience, wisdom, and leadership of competent flight attendants on board.

Getting a plane full of passengers safely to a destination is a team effort, with many people involved from administration to ground crews to flight operations to mechanics to airport security to the flight crew. Even the passengers on the plane play an important role in this mission, as they have the opportunity to help other passengers in small ways and may even need to alert the crew regarding a medical emergency taking place on the plane. There have been many instances where a trained medical person has assisted the airline crew by tending to a passenger in distress.

On one of my husband’s flights as the pilot in command, a passenger boarded the aircraft wearing a shirt with an obscene graphic design. One of the flight attendants came to the flight deck and explained the situation to my husband. He instructed her to tell the passenger that he needed to either change his shirt or disembark the airplane. This was necessary for the safety and comfort of everyone else on board, especially the children. The passenger complied, and as he didn’t have access to another shirt, the solution was to wear his shirt inside out. The incident was handled in an orderly manner due to effective teamwork, which was the result of training, experience, skill, and wisdom. A crucial part of commercial pilot leadership is the development of open communication, which builds trust among all the flight crew members that any arising issues will be given appropriate consideration and attention.

But, what about husbands and fathers? How can they prepare to be godly leaders in their marriages and families? Here are four practical ways men can be well prepared to succeed in their mission as the head of their family:

1. Read and stay updated on your manual: God’s word. Pilots not only have to keep up their flying skills and be evaluated on a regular basis, but they also have to stay up to date on information regarding the plane they’re flying, airspace rules and regulations, and airport protocols. They must know all pertinent information necessary to successfully complete their mission. Over the years my husband spent countless hours updating and reading his manuals so he would be knowledgeable of everything he needed to know to fly the plane safely.

While God’s word never needs updating like a pilot’s manual, a lifetime is not enough for reading, studying, and growing in all God has revealed to us in the Bible. Men must be committed to attending a solid local church regularly and hearing God’s word faithfully preached. Additionally, there are also many wonderful resources God has given his people such as written confessions and catechisms which, while subordinate to Scripture, are helpful for understanding and applying God’s word.

2. Do a frequent “walk-around” to access your family’s spiritual, emotional, and physical health. I remember my husband talking about how part of the pre-flight procedure includes one of the pilots walking around and inspecting the airplane before a flight. Sometimes the weather was extremely cold and it was no fun at all for the pilots to do that walk-around—but it was essential to help ensure the airworthiness of the aircraft.

Likewise, a wise and mature husband and/or father needs to take the time, no matter how tired, grumpy, or discouraged he may be, to assess the state of his family on a regular basis. Ways he can do this are by frequently:

• asking his wife how things are going, how she is doing, and how he can be of help and encouragement to her,

• reviewing his children’s growth in biblical knowledge and wisdom, academics and life-skills, and emotional maturity to evaluate any needed changes that should be made for their benefit, and

• spending time with his wife and children, both together and one-on-one, listening to them well and learning how to love them better and help them to thrive.

3. Have—and use—a checklist. All pilots have a checklist that they go through before take-off and landing to make sure they haven’t missed anything important for the safe operation of the flight. This checklist isn’t optional; it is mandatory.

Husbands and fathers may want to follow the example of pilots and write down a checklist of the most important things they need to attend each day as God’s stewards of precious life and go through it each morning. This way they won’t get as easily distracted by the cares of the world or the tyranny of the urgent and instead keep their focus on the mission of caring for the people God has entrusted to their care.

4. Take care of your own health and get sufficient rest. Along with the discipline of keeping up flight skills and knowledge, pilots also need to keep themselves healthy, both mentally and physically. All commercial airline pilots are required to have either semi-annual or annual flight physicals, depending on their position. They are required to do all they can to maintain good health and meet mandatory rest requirements before flying so that they are in a position to lead well and make sound decisions.

Life happens and sometimes a pilot confronts a significant life event that results in a lack of sleep or need for time off to recover from an illness, operation, or traumatic life event. In regular day-to-day life, however, pilots are expected to exercise self-discipline in how they comport themselves, including when they’re not flying.

Husbands and fathers also have the opportunity every day to make good decisions with how they spend their personal time. While everyone needs time to relax and refresh, leaders of the household should be a good example to their families of using their time wisely, avoiding engaging in excessive amounts of self-indulgent activities and instead responsibly caring for themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Like the mission of airline pilots, the mission of husbands and fathers is fraught with obstacles.

Being an airline pilot is considered one of the most stressful vocations a person can have. Their mission is fraught with many life-or-death obstacles, including weather, birds, mechanical failure, pilot error, unruly passengers, and even evil forces, all which, if not avoided or overcome, can result in calamity.

Likewise, the mission of husbands and fathers is fraught with obstacles such as personal sin, the sins of others, the misery of this world, and attacks from the devil, and they need much wisdom to fulfill their responsibilities in the home. For example, husbands, if your wife has experienced spiritual, emotional, or physical abuse, you need to have heightened sensitivity as the head of your family. Developing trust for someone after experiencing abuse can be a very long process and involves all the gentleness, kindness, and caring you can give your wife.

Because the operation of commercial airplanes has become such a routine part of life in our world, it’s easy to overlook the immense responsibilities pilots, flight attendants, ground crews, mechanics, air traffic controllers, and airport security personnel have on a daily basis. Their dedication to doing their job well results in keeping countless millions of people safe—at times under sudden and extreme pressure—as they travel from one place to another.

It's also easy to overlook the the tremendous responsibilities husbands and fathers and other heads of households like single parents, widows, and caregivers have on a daily basis, but we shouldn’t. Leading a family requires relying on God’s grace and help. Being prepared through much prayer, study of God’s word, and consistent fellowship with the saints on the Lord’s Day and throughout the week are all essential for guiding those under our care safely to their hoped-for destination—eternal communion with God in Christ.

It takes self-discipline, character, and courage to be the head of a family.

People don’t have to choose the vocation of being an airline pilot. Similarly, men don’t have to take on the responsibilities of being a husband, and potentially a father if God gives his family children. It takes self-discipline, character, and courage to be the pilot-in-command of a commercial airliner, as it also takes those three things to be the head of a family. Before a man makes the decision to become a husband, he must carefully discern whether he is willing to sacrificially lead his family for the rest of his life as Christ loved the church:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Eph. 5:25-31)

In the daily operation of thousands of flights around the globe, passengers witness the coordinated efforts of many people working together without fanfare to serve everyone under their care. Similarly, in Christian families we see godly men and women living out their “one-flesh” union where there used to be two uncommitted individuals. While the harmony and fruits of their teamwork are impeded by sin in this fallen world, in Christ we see a family working together, fulfilling their various responsibilities, pressing onward with the goal of loving God and their neighbor in all their endeavors.

Jesus is our ultimate example of what it means to exercise godly authority in love and humility.

Even in our best efforts to be godly leaders, we will fall short in some way. This doesn’t mean, however, that we shouldn’t strive to always exercise authority as Jesus would do. Jesus, King of kings and Lord of lords, is our ultimate example of what it means to use authority rightly. Jesus never put his needs or desires first; rather, he humbled himself in order to free us from our bondage to sin and death:

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Phil. 2:5-7)

May we do all we can to encourage and strengthen men in their mission as husbands and fathers, always remembering that authority is never unlimited and must be held accountable in accordance with God’s word. All authority ultimately comes from God and each of us will be held to account by our Creator one day for how we have exercised our authority in our various vocations in life.

In part three of this series, I will cover the topic of godly submission in marriage.

Related Articles:

• “Choose Wisely”: How to Have a Mostly “Functionally Egalitarian” Marriage (Part 1)

• 6 Ways a Christian Husband Cherishes His Wife

• What Is Mutual Submission and How Does It Apply to Marriage?

• 3 Ways the Gospel Brings Harmony to Your Marriage

• Q & A: 10 Important Aspects of Submission and Authority in a Christian Marriage

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Notes:

[1] For a clear and succinct response regarding the errant teaching of ESS, please see: “Q&A: The Eternal Subordination of the Son,” The Orthodox Presbyterian Church; for a helpful explanation regarding 1 Cor. 14:34-35 and 1 Tim. 2:11-12, please see: “What Is the Bible Saying Regarding Women Being Silent in Church?” Beautiful Christian Life; and for a helpful explanation regarding biblical authority and submission in marriage, please see: “What Is Mutual Submission and How Does It Apply to Marriage?” Beautiful Christian Life.

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Is Poverty More Spiritual?

Editorial Credit: Renata Sedmakova / Shutterstock.com; St. Francis of Assisi Preaching to the Birds; church Convento de Capuchinos (Iglesia Santo Anchel).

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

The religious poverty movement gained traction during the latter medieval period because, among other reasons, the institutional church had become endued with massive wealth, political power, and an ecclesiology that viewed the Pope as Christ’s vice-regent, ruling the nations in the risen Lord’s stead. Civil authority, large property holdings, and a deep coffer were the signs of the church’s divine approval and seen as essential elements of its larger mission.

Some became disillusioned by this vision of the church and took a decidedly different course with their lives. In obedience to Jesus’ instructions in the gospels, some Christians in the twelfth and thirteenth centuries divested themselves of nearly all their possessions and gave themselves to what St. Francis of Assisi called “Lady Poverty.” Historian Bruce Shelly explains:

In the twelfth and thirteenth centuries [Lady Poverty] had a host of admirers. Itinerant preaching and voluntary poverty appealed to the imaginations and consciences of many Christians. Growing numbers of lay-men, instead of relying on the prayers of monks and bishops, read the Bible in the vernacular and vowed to follow the gospel mandate: “Sell what you have, give it to the poor, and come follow me.” Some of these believers chose orthodoxy, others opted for heresy, and at times only a knife edge seemed to separate the two. One thing is clear: [Pope] Innocent III’s vision of the ascended Christ who ruled, through his Vicar, all nations, all learning, and all grace in this life and the next, faced a formidable rival in the ancient image of the Savior who said, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of man has no place to lay his head.” Where, after all, is true Christianity? In a sacramental institution or in a self-denying lifestyle?  (Bruce Shelly, Church History in Plain Language, 4th Edition, pp. 213-14)

It was apparent to some that Pope Innocent’s vision of Christianity didn’t comport with Scripture, particularly when it came to wealth and earthly possessions. Jesus’ words to the rich young ruler to sell all of one’s earthly goods, give to the poor, and follow him in discipleship became a central text to those who believed that voluntary poverty was a vital component to authentic spirituality. Yet, while it is good to allow historic examples to prompt us to greater obedience to Jesus, we must address this issue of voluntary poverty from a whole-Bible perspective.

We can affirm the willingness of these folks to forsake all for Christ and to set their hearts on their eternal treasure rather than their earthly treasure. Certainly, their radical embrace of Jesus’ words in the Gospels concerning wealth has something to say to us today in the affluent West (see Luke 12:13-21).

The Bible calls the disciple of Jesus to be willing to renounce everything for him.

Nevertheless, there was a lopsided view toward wealth and an exalted (read: more spiritual) status given to poverty among these Christians. Speaking of one of the most famous leaders in this movement, St. Francis of Assisi, Nick Needham notes that his devotion to poverty was more than a spiritual discipline. As Francis gathered followers, he wrote for them a rule—a set of spiritual guidelines—that went beyond biblical parameters.  

The rule exalted poverty, not as a means to a spiritual end, but as an end in itself. Franciscans renounced the ownership of all property; they were spiritually married to ‘Lady Poverty,’ and begged for their food.” Poverty became the highest pursuit, the greatest good, and the most noble status. (Nick Needham, 2000 Years of Christ’s Power, 2:341-42) 

Scripture, however, does not place greater spiritual value upon poverty as such, as though it is something to be pursued. Actually, Scripture is more radical than that. The Bible calls the disciple of Jesus to be willing to renounce everything for him, not just material wealth (Luke 14:33; see also Phil. 3:7-12). A person could gladly give up his wealth, for example, but hold on to his self-righteousness, pride, lust, and so on, and view his poverty as a means of establishing his right standing with God and a grounds for boasting (e.g., Matt. 6:1ff; 1 Cor. 13:1-3). His impoverished status would be spiritually worthless in such a case.    

Christians are to make good use of everything Christ has entrusted to them.

It is true that Scripture warns us to not love wealth, or to set our hearts on it, or to make it the aim of our life (Matt. 6:19-34). We are to be content with what we have and to beware of how love for money easily corrupts the soul (1 Tim. 6:6-10). The Bible also teaches that those who are poor in this life may experience greater faith because they have learned to depend on God in significant ways (James 2:5). If we must choose, poverty with the fear of the Lord is better than wealth without it (Prov. 15:16). So is a peaceful household (Prov. 17:1).     

But these truths do not imply that Scripture exalts poverty as a spiritually superior status or that it counsels the disciple to pursue it. The Bible is replete with exhortations to work diligently while also indicating that diligence is often rewarded with greater wealth (Prov. 10:4; 21:5). Poverty often attends those who are lazy (Prov. 6:11; 10:4). Agur asked God specifically to give him neither poverty nor riches (Prov. 30:8-9). The apostle Paul recognized that some Christians might be wealthy, yet he doesn’t command them to sell all their possessions, but rather exhorts them to be ready to share, to be rich in good works, to not set their hopes on riches, and to not become proud of their wealth (1 Tim. 6:17-19).  

To intentionally reduce oneself to poverty disables a person from providing for others.

Furthermore, Christians are to manage their God-given resources well, making good use of everything Christ has entrusted to them, including spiritual and material assets (Matt. 25:14-30). Christians are called to labor diligently in order to provide for themselves (1 Thess. 4:9-12) and to share with those in need (Eph. 4:28). To intentionally reduce oneself to poverty disables a person from providing for others. And the early Franciscan practice of begging goes directly against the New Testament requirement for able-bodied Christians to earn their own living and to work for the good of others.[1] Yes, some Christians may be poor, but this does not mean that poverty as such is a superior spiritual status. Indeed, one must have some surplus if they are going to help those who are without it (Gal 2:10; see also Acts 4:34-35).        

Freedom is found in believing the gospel, not in pursuing a life of poverty.

In the affluent West, we need to be reminded of Scripture’s teaching on wealth and be challenged by figures in church history to harken more closely to Jesus’ words about money. But it is also possible in our current economic setting to react against such affluence and develop a sub-biblical outlook on wealth. As one seventeenth century pastor said, “Many an error is taken up by going too far from other men’s faults.” Like those in the various Catholic religious orders who sought poverty as a spiritual ideal, so we can be fooled into thinking that poverty itself is the end goal of our Christian lives, or that impoverishing oneself is the way to spiritual freedom.  

Rather, freedom is found in believing the gospel: that Christ’s righteousness is sufficient and that no work, including reducing oneself to poverty, can justify us (Rom 4:5). Then, with assurance of our right standing with God, we turn to Scripture to give us a full picture of what real discipleship looks like. Radical poverty may appear to some as more godly than the alternative, but it still belies a misreading of the New Testament. Remaining well-rooted in Christ and his gospel will enable us to avoid the lure of unbiblical teaching, even when that teaching appears plausible and wise (see Col 2:23).

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This article is adapted from “Should Christians Pursue Poverty?” at withallwisdom.org.

Related Articles:

• 8 Ways Money Might Be Your Idol

• 10 Essential Lessons about Money from the Book of Proverbs

• “Give Me neither Poverty nor Plenty”: 7 Things the Book of Proverbs Teaches Us about Money

• 14 Ways to Keep Your Focus on the Things That Matter Most in Life

Notes:                   

[1] It appears that Francis modified his outlook on work in his Later Rule (1223). See Needham, 2:341-42.

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“No Division in the Body” — 1 Corinthians 12:25-27

Photo by Jack Sharp on Unsplash

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you.

It is not unusual for many to see themselves as individuals coming in and other of other people’s lives, even to the point of loneliness. And it is difficult to think of a time in recent history where people have experienced such depths of loneliness as occurred during the pandemic.

Yet, as Christians we are united to one another by faith in Christ Jesus. The apostle Paul writes about this unity in 1 Corinthians 12:25-27:

That there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

What does it mean practically that Christians are members of Christ’s body?

In Christ we are all brothers and sisters.

By way of analogy, we are all parts of his body fitted together by him to love and care for each other. Being adopted we are members of God’s household, which means in Christ we are all brothers and sisters. We are to be united by Christ without division or strife, loving from a pure heart, a good conscience, and sincere faith.

The sixteenth-century Protestant Reformer John Calvin writes of the “holy and inseparable knot” that joins Christians together:

“And let us see we be so edified, that every one of us seek the furtherance of his neighbors, and without envying one another, let us all labor to be furthered in God, and in our Lord Jesus Christ, being joined together with this holy and inseparable knot, which he made betwixt us, when he called us to be members of his body…” (John Calvin, Sermons on Titus, p. 89)

We are called to suffer and rejoice together.

The second greatest commandment is to love one another even as God loves us (Matt. 22:35-40). We are to be with one another, caring for each other, encouraging and building up one another in faith. While this building up of the saints may take place in different ways than we would want at times due to various factors, we need to trust that God is in control and will always provide for his children. May believers continue to actively care for one another in the local church in creative and useful ways, both big and small, for we are called to suffer and rejoice together.

Related Articles:

• Building Real Community Jesus’ Way

• 30 Ways to Love Christ in the Everyday Moments of Life

• The Vital Connection between Sincere Love and Hospitality in the Church

• Are You a Productive Bee? 7 Ways God Has Gifted Christians to Serve

• 10 Practical Ways to Help People Who Are Hurting

• 7 Ways to Be an Influencer Without Social Media

Recommended:

The Three Forms of Unity: Subordinate Doctrinal Standards (The Heidelberg Catechism, The Belgic Confession of Faith, and the Canons of Dort)

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