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What is unique about a Christian man? What separates him from other men? In a word, love. But what kind of love—what is the love of a Christian man?
1. A Christian man's love is grounded in the love of God.
First John 4:19 says, “We love because he [God] first loved us.” The love of a Christian man is rooted by faith in his Savior Christ Jesus. Apart from Christ there is no true love, but what is the nature of true love—what does it look like, what does it do, and how can you tell? The love of a Christian man is sacrificial, just as Jesus' love for his people was sacrificial. John writes in his first letter,
By this we know love, that he [Jesus] laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. (1 John 2:16)
In the book of Ephesians Paul writes,
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Eph. 5:25)
In a marriage with a Christian man, it is the man who is specifically called to love sacrificially—to give up himself, his own wants and desires—for the benefit of his wife. The love of a Christian man focuses on others, cares for others, and benefits others. It is sacrificial.
2. A Christian man leads his family.
With Christian love as the foundation, a Christian man leads his family by providing for them, setting a godly example, and teaching them through words and actions. In 1 Timothy 5:8 Scripture warns men not to neglect their families but instead to take care of them. Humanity was designed by God for work; just as God works, we work because we are made in God’s image. A Christian man who is able works in order to provide a home, food, and other needs for his family.
The work that a man does is one way of setting an example of leadership for his family; it serves to show his family the loving traits of a Christian leader—his sense of responsibility and care for others. Leading also means teaching. Ephesians 6:4 encourages fathers to rear their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This means fathers must know the Lord's instruction—they must know the word of God and pass it on to their children.
3. Christian men lead in the church as they are called by God and given gifts from the Lord.
God has declared that only men are to serve in the offices of the church as pastors, elders, and deacons (1 Tim. 3:1-13; Tit.1:5-9). Especially in the first letter to Timothy and the letter to Titus, God, speaking through Paul, is very specific about the attributes of a Christian man who is called to be a leader in Christ's church. He is to be above reproach and the husband of one wife. His children are believers, respectful, and well-behaved. He is to be humble, in control of his emotions, not greedy, and of course, not an alcoholic.
A Christian leader opens his home with hospitality and sets the example of Christian holiness and self-discipline. He is trustworthy and knows the word of God well-enough to enable him to teach the Bible and to correct those who contradict it. He should not be a new convert to the faith but instead should demonstrate his godly leadership abilities by managing his own household well and having a good reputation with others, even those who are outside of the church.
These are a few of the traits of a Christian man and leader. Christian men must never lose sight of God's love, which is the source of any love and sacrifice a Christian man makes for the benefit of others—especially his own family. And though the traits of a Christian man who fills a leadership office in the church are specifically aimed at pastors, elders, and deacons, they are also attributes which all Christian men should strive to attain by the grace of God and the power of the Spirit. For God is pleased when his love flows through godly Christian men to his family and the family of faith.
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Scripture teaches us to persist in prayer, but should we be repetitive? If God hears our prayers the first time, why should we keep coming back to the throne of grace with the same petition?
Jesus calls us to be persistently repetitive in our prayers.
In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus commands that we should ask, seek, and knock in our prayers:
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matt. 7:7)
In other words, he is calling us to be persistent in our prayers to our Father in heaven. Using three words (“ask,” “seek,” and “knock”), Jesus calls us to be persistently repetitive, to continue in prayer bringing to our heavenly Father our needs, our desires, and our gratitude according to his will. Sometimes though, others may think being repetitive is unnecessary—doesn’t God hear the first time? Yes, of course, he does!
Pastor and author Terry L. Johnson makes the important observation that persistent repetition is a sign of sincerity in the heart of a Christian:
We demonstrate sincerity by going to God in prayer and persisting there. The depth and integrity of our desire is proven by returning to Him again and again, persistently asking and requesting that He might hear and respond. (When Grace Comes Alive, p. 206)
When our prayers are sincere, the Holy Spirit leads us to persistence, even to a sense of urgency—a crying out to the Lord with all our needs and godly desires.
We are to be genuinely persistent in our prayers.
In Luke 11:5-8, the parallel passage to Matthew 7:7, consider the parable Jesus tells just before he commands us to ask, seek, and knockf in order to illustrate his command to pray persistently:
And he said to them, “Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves, for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and he will answer from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed. I cannot get up and give you anything’?I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs.”
Johnson explains, “The point of the parable is that ‘because of his persistence [impudence]’ the man shall get what he needs from his friend” (p. 208). We are to be genuinely persistent in our prayers, and not simply “heap up empty phrases” in order to be wordy (Matt. 6:7). Ask, seek, and knock with heartfelt honesty.
Unanswered prayers shouldn’t cause God’s children to lose heart.
It is not uncommon to wonder if God doesn’t hear us when it seems our prayers go unanswered. At these times it is good to remember Jesus’ teaching on prayer—his command to be persistent, to repeat our requests by asking, seeking, knocking. God hears your prayers. Do not lose heart; instead, sincerely and persistently pray to your Father in heaven by faith in your Savior, Christ Jesus.
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In our humanness we don’t usually have a problem loving people when they are good and kind or strong and beautiful. We struggle to love when people are at their worst and weakest. Yet, this is the kind of love that God demonstrates toward us.
Recently I was reading about Psalm 103 in a book called Learning to Love the Psalms by W. Robert Godfrey. In this particular chapter Godfrey mentions that this psalm speaks about God’s love for believers in the midst of their sinfulness and frailty. It struck me that this love is quite comprehensive, since humans are constantly riddled with sin and frailty. No wonder the psalmist focuses on these categories.
With our Father in heaven setting the standard of love for his children to follow, this kind of love is a daunting task. How are we to love those around us in the midst of their sin and frailty?
1. Pray.
Does prayer ever seem like a cop-out because it’s what people say when they don’t really want to get involved with a situation or know what to do? Sometimes prayer can be like a tagline we use to wrap up a difficult conversation when we don’t know what else to say. Yet, this isn’t the correct understanding of prayer. The Bible teaches that prayer is powerful and effective (see, for example, Mark 11:24; Luke 18:1-8).
Calling upon the help of our all-powerful heavenly Father should never be a polite cop-out. Prayer is a tool of spiritual warfare that takes great effort, and God has promised that he listens to, cares about, and answers his people’s prayers. He uses prayer to accomplish his plan. Prayer is one way we love those who are in the midst of sin and frailty. We get on our knees, and we pray.
2. Listen.
When people suffer, they don’t always need more information. Sometimes they need someone to share with them in the pain or struggle. They need a sympathetic ear and heart. As Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” We must learn to be people who can weep with each other openly and shamelessly. The world tells us to put our best face forward—to be independently confident and strong. Yet, this is just another lie and a heavy burden that can lead to loneliness and despair.
Not one of us is strong on our own. If we think we are, there will come a time when we realize we don’t have it all together, like we think we did. Sin and frailty are our lot in this life, and so we must learn to weep with those who are weeping. We must not push them aside or avoid the conversation. As family—members of the body of Christ—we must weep together.
3. Be patient.
The world loves a quick fix, a fast meal, two-day shipping, and short lines (if any). And yet, growth and healing—both spiritual and physical—are often slow processes. We understand that a newborn will not be running up the stairs the next day, and yet we often expect people dealing with sin to simply “snap out of it.”
Those struggling against sin, addictions, depression, and other hardships may have long recoveries. Quick fixes are not inevitable, but what is most common is slow growth and gradual renewal. The Holy Spirit works on his own timetable, and we must be patient, working with and continuing to patiently be there for struggling brothers and sisters (Eph. 4:1-2).
4. Encourage.
Words of encouragement can be a very powerful sustenance for those who are suffering. Whether it is a conversation or a note, knowing that we are remembered is a wonderful and strengthening gift. God is a God of encouragement and life, and his Word is encouragement that gives hope (Rom. 15:4-5).
The words of believers are to be words that lift up and encourage. Words are far from empty but rather have power to build up and tear down. Loving those who are struggling under the burden of sin, physical pain, or hard situations means using our words with wisdom and for healing (Prov. 12:25; 25:11).
5. See them as heavenly beings.
The world is dark and dreary and hopeless. It is harsh and judgmental and pessimistic. In contrast to this world, God’s people have a glorious hope of another world. While we struggle here on earth, what is here for us now is not all there will be for those who are beloved by God. We are creatures destined for a glorious eternity with renewed bodies, minds, and souls. We are glorious beings in the making.
We are incomplete at present, yet, by God’s Spirit the work of refashioning us into the image of Christ has already begun. We must not lose heart at the struggles we have in this flesh but instead see each other as aliens here on earth already being transformed into holy beings who will be glorified upon Christ’s return. We are brothers and sisters on a journey to a New Heavens and a New Earth and looking forward to new bodies free of sin, pain, and sorrow. As the apostle Peter reminds us,
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. (1 Peter 1: 3-4)
This is our inheritance as children of God. Let us love our suffering brothers and sisters, seeing them as fellow pilgrims to this glorious destination and reality.
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“I couldn’t help it. You can’t help who you fall in love with.”
I heard a woman say this recently about her adultery with a married man with four daughters. She claims innocence. We must understand what she has done: “Love made her do it.” Perhaps we should even applaud her for being “true to love.”
The idea that we are helpless victims of love is a very ancient one. Samson was powerful and as dangerous as an army, but Delilah and her loving charms turned him into Bambi.
The Roman god Cupid, son of Venus, shoots his magic arrow. His quarry falls skewered, in love, hors de combat.
Louis XIV, a deeply pious man, had two wives, many mistresses, and an indeterminable number of “one night stands.” But he was the King of France, and rich and beautiful women threw themselves at him. Could anyone resist such love?
Elvis sealed the deal: “Wise men say, ‘Only fools rush in,’ But I can’t help falling in love with you. Can I stay? Would it be a sin? ’Cause I can’t help...” And he sang this song so beautifully and innocently that it just seems mean to contradict him.
What is love?
According to this mind-set, what is love? An overwhelming feeling of desire and passion. How does love happen? You fall into it. You are walking along, minding your own business, and the ground suddenly gives way beneath you like a trap door. You now lie bewildered and helpless and “in love.” You didn’t mean to be there; you didn’t choose to be there. You are there because of circumstances and forces that are beyond your control.
And once you are in love, you must act on it. Not to do so would be to betray love. The good person must be “true to love.”
Our understanding of love is broken and wrong.
This provides an irrefutable answer to many awkward questions: “How can you go with that woman? You are already married!” “Yes, but I fell in love with her.” “You are having sex outside marriage?” “Yes, but we are in love.” “You are beginning a homosexual relationship?” “Yes, don’t you know that I love her?” “You are a Christian, and you are romancing an unbeliever?” “Yes, I love him.”
What is the fruit of this? Shattered marriages. Children bereft of their parents. Children born to unmarried parents or, more commonly, single moms. Sexual perversion. People marrying after having had previous sexual partners. At best the result is difficult marriages loaded with damaging memories and former sexual partners only a Facebook click away.
Our understanding of love is broken and wrong. People are hurting. What is the answer to this? Yes, it would be easy to tear apart this broken view of love. But it is better to replace it—to replace it with a truer understanding, a radically different and better view of love.
God teaches us a better view of love.
The Bible tells us that love is not, first of all, an inward feeling. It is acting in the best interests of the other. It is a conviction and decision to act in a way that helps and blesses the other. The loving husband denies himself, and gives his life to protect, support, and serve his wife. The wife denies herself, and submits to her husband, supporting his leadership role. Parents deny their own pleasures to engage in the very hard work of protecting and raising and disciplining their children. Human beings love God fundamentally by obeying God, by acting in a way that gives him most glory and honor.
Strip aside the feelings of attraction and passion, and adultery is instantly exposed as an essentially unloving and harmful act. The adulterous husband betrays and wounds his wife, he betrays and wounds his children, and turns the new woman into an adulteress. He esteems his new woman so much that he is willing to join her life to a betrayer, a vow-breaker, a liar, a faithless man, a cad, an adulterer.
If the woman I described had truly loved that married man with four daughters, then the moment she sensed and foresaw any romantic link she would done everything in her power to break off all contact and all possibility of contact. If he had loved her, he would not have foisted a faithless betrayer on her. When it comes to temptation to sexual sin, the most loving thing you can do for the person who tempts you is to break off contact and leave them alone.
Sometimes we best love someone by counting them as dead to us.
In these cases, paradoxically but truly, you best love someone by counting them as dead to you.
Strip aside the feelings of attraction and passion, and you will quickly see that fornication is essentially an unloving and harmful act. You are sharing the most intimate act you can share with someone—without having committed to them. “I will do this with you, and I will leave the door open to leave later on.” Let alone the possibility of children. To have sex with a woman, to expose her to becoming pregnant with your child, before making a solemn public lifelong commitment to her, is thoughtless and reckless at best, and viciously selfish.
And no—no contraception is fail-safe. And when you fornicate, you potentially rob the other person’s future marriage. You are having sex with someone who may well become someone else’s wife or husband: you are robbing and harming the person who, unlike you at this point, will actually commit to them. When these things are considered, even for a moment, you will see that if you “love” someone, you will run away from sexual intimacy with them, you will wait until you have committed to them in marriage, or you will leave them well alone.
In short, when we disobey the sexual ethics of the Bible—no matter how “in love” we feel—we harm ourselves and others.
Probably the most sublime, passionate, and moving description of the love between a man and a woman is found in the Song of Solomon. The three-thousand-year-old Song’s daring metaphors for the human body, sexual desire, and love have never failed to shock and delight. And yet in the midst of this passionate married love comes the caution:
“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” (Song 2:7)
This warning is repeated in the middle of the book and again at its end. It is clearly urgent.
The message is simple. Passionate married love is good, but it is only good in the right place: between a married husband and wife. So don’t arouse love for another person unless they are the right person, and don’t allow love to waken until the right time.
Control your feelings for the person who is already married, or whom you could never marry. And if it is not the right time to marry, then don’t allow love to waken.
Our passions, desires, and instincts can—and must—be controlled.
The Song of Solomon, which teaches about passionate married love so vividly, teaches us also that we are not animals, that we are not slaves to our passions and desires and instincts, that these things can—and must—be controlled.
They can be physically controlled: if this person is wrong for me, and I am tempted by them, then I will stay away. Don’t get in touch. Don’t arrange to meet. Don’t message. Don’t start long and intimate conversations. Control your heart by controlling your contact and communication.
And control your thoughts. If you indulge in hundreds of hours of Disney and rom-coms, if you train yourself to believe that “I must give myself to love” or “I am helpless before love,” if you allow your thoughts to run wild, and if you lie on your bed and allow your mind to fixate on a particular person, then misplaced and mistimed “love” and desire will awaken.
The Bible gives humanity—made in God’s image—the supreme compliment of saying: You are better than the beasts. You can control and channel your desires. You don’t need to be dragged around by the wild horses of hormones and emotions and passions. You can tame and control these powerful desires so that, when the time is right and you are married, they can serve you and take you to very good places.
In short, in matters of love no one can say, “I couldn’t help it.” You can. And for your sake, and even more for the sake of others, you must.
For young adults these things are extremely difficult. I was there—it seems like yesterday. And I would not want to go back to that stage of life. You need all the help you can get. Seek good and wise help from Mom and Dad and trusted Christian friends. Be immersed in the Word: it is the daily bread of life that you need. Pray. Don’t struggle through this alone: take all the help your community can give you.
And if you have blown it, you can be made clean and new: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:10). Praise God that a new life and a fresh start is available to all!
Passionate married love is one of God’s wonderful gifts. Let’s not spoil or distort or misuse it. With God’s help, and with the help of church and family, let it awaken with the right person at the right time.
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The true church can be recognized if it has the following marks: The church engages in the pure preaching of the gospel; it makes use of the pure administration of the sacraments as Christ instituted them; it practices church discipline for correcting faults. In short, it governs itself according to the pure Word of God, rejecting all things contrary to it and holding Jesus Christ as the only Head. By these marks one can be assured of recognizing the true church—and no one ought to be separated from it. —Belgic Confession, Article 29
Church discipline is essential to the life of the visible church. It was instituted by our Lord Jesus himself in Matthew 18:
“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed’ (Deut. 19:15). If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” (Matt. 18:15–20; NASB 95 modified)
Our Lord had previously (see Matt. 16:19) given to the visible church the keys of the kingdom (i.e., the authority to preach the gospel, to administer the sacraments, and to use church discipline). In our radically egalitarian age, however, this can be a hard pill to swallow. I see regular declarations (especially on Twitter) that the visible church has no authority to discipline anyone for anything. This is simply not true.
Relative to the Kingdom of God, the church is not a purely voluntary association.
Relative to the state the church is a voluntary association but morally, spiritually, relative to the Kingdom of God, the church is not a purely voluntary association. We must be joined to it. We confess this necessity on the basis of the general teaching of Scripture and texts such as Hebrews 10:25. With the ecumenical church we confess that, ordinarily, “outside the church there is no salvation.” So, being a member of the visible church is essential to the Christian life and being removed from it, the last step of discipline, is a grave matter.
“To be sure, church discipline is never perfect, but Jesus did command it.”
In our time, however, the tendency is to view the church as means of therapy, merely as a place of fellowship and encouragement, but not as the divinely instituted embassy in which the keys of the Kingdom of God are administered. Viewed thus, the very idea of church discipline seems high-handed, arbitrary, unjust, and even cruel. After all, the reasoning goes, who are those sinners to judge this sinner? To be sure, church discipline is never perfect, but Jesus did command it. He knew that we are sinful when he commanded it. He knew how messy and difficult it can be.
When he instituted church discipline, Jesus was not thinking of the church as merely voluntary society for mutual edification. He was thinking of the church as the divinely instituted assembly of God’s people gathered at the feet of the Savior to hear the Law and the Gospel, to receive the sacraments, and to correct one another.
The church is the divinely instituted assembly of God’s people.
There is a democratic element to church discipline. According to our Lord’s institution, true discipline actually begins not with officers and formal proceedings but with mutual correction among the brothers and sisters—among the laity. The hope is that when a brother or sister comes to us, we will hear their admonition, repent, and seek forgiveness.
“Rightly done, even if imperfectly, church discipline is an act of love that seeks the restoration of a brother or sister for that person’s well-being.”
Ideally, that is the end of the matter. It is only when the sinner is impenitent that the visible church becomes involved. Sadly, too often, this is how it goes. Even after it becomes an ecclesiastical matter, there are intervening steps before the church is forced to resort to the final step of formal excommunication, in which the impenitent person’s name is announced to the congregation. This process should take time and may take years.
The act of church discipline is one of love.
Might this process be abused? Yes. Has it been abused? Yes. In a rightly ordered church, however, there are remedies against pastoral or ecclesiastical abuse. The very act of discipline is not, however, abusive. It is an act of love. When my parents disciplined me, it was because they loved me. When I disciplined my children, it was because I loved them. My parents knew, as I learned, that there are consequences to sin and misbehavior. Again, this is exactly what Hebrews says:
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it (Heb. 12:7–11 ESV).
Church discipline seeks the restoration of a brother or sister for that person’s well-being.
Rightly done, even if imperfectly, church discipline is an act of love that seeks the restoration of a brother or sister for that person’s well-being. It is, after all, “a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Heb. 10:31). He is a “consuming fire” (Heb. 12:29). Note that these are all passages from the New Covenant to which I am appealing. The God who made the earth open up and swallow people has not changed. He does not change. He will not change. He is immutably just.
Church discipline is really a call to repentance and faith. It is a kind of evangelism. In it we are preaching the gospel to our fellow professing Christians who have fallen into disobedience and are being impenitent, and insofar as they remain so, they are placing themselves in jeopardy of divine judgment.
So, yes, church discipline is a great benefit of the church. It is not arbitrary. It is not mean. It is the opposite of mean. It is an act of love, of grace, of kindness, and mercy.
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The Bible is full of exciting stories, many of them including strong, passionate, and wise women. While many devotionals and books focus on Proverbs 31 to teach about godly womanhood, let’s also remember the many narratives that portray women of valor in the Scriptures. Here are five God-glorifying traits we find in these valiant women of the Bible who encourage and inspire us today.
1. Discerning: A Wise Woman Saves Her Household
Abigail in 1 Samuel 25:3 is described as being a discerning woman. When her husband acted rudely and grievously mistreated David, Abigail loaded up gift baskets to make peace with David. Her husband didn’t even realize the danger in which he had placed his family. If Abigail had not acted, her whole family would have been destroyed by David because of her husband’s insolence.
Abigail recognized that David was chosen to rule Israel and approached him in such a way as to remind him that God is the one who will establish David’s kingdom, and David will not be vindicated by his own efforts (1 Sam. 25:30-31). Abigail did the right thing, even though her husband acted foolishly. Because she acted wisely, Abigail saved her whole household and encouraged the future king of Israel to act wisely and trust God (1 Sam. 25:30-35).
2. Choosing God’s Side: Clever, Believing, and Brave
Rahab believed God’s people would conquer her city, and she wanted to be on God’s side. She realized that her city of Jericho would be destroyed, so she cleverly hid two Israelite spies and helped them escape from Jericho soldiers. Rahab was even brought before the king and questioned. But she didn’t give up the Israelite men whom she was protecting. This is both a great spy story and faith story!
Rahab not only uses her wits to protect God’s people, but she also joins herself to God’s people. As Joshua learned from the Angel of the Lord that he must obey God’s marching orders and be loyal to him (Josh. 5:14), Rahab also knew that she must be on God’s side to live. Rahab believed God’s people would be victorious and bravely used her mind, words, and actions to protect God’s people—and her own family in the process (Josh. 2:1-6:25).
3. Renewing the Mind: Acquiring Knowledge
Mary, the sister of Martha, was a learner. When Jesus was present, she sat at his feet soaking in all he said. Jesus commended Mary for taking the time to learn about him (Luke 10:39-42). In a time when women would not have publicly sat at the feet of a rabbi to learn, she made listening to Jesus’ teaching a priority. Jesus didn’t send Mary away to learn about him from her brother Lazarus in private, but welcomed her to learn from him firsthand.
While it is easy to get caught up in daily chores and responsibilities, Jesus doesn’t allow that as an excuse to neglect learning and listening to him. Whether reading books that teach theology, taking classes in a seminary, learning at a Bible study, privately reading the Bible, or most importantly, worshiping with the saints on Sunday in church, learning of Christ is a priority in God’s eyes for women. Their spiritual well-being and knowledge of Christ is explicitly blessed (Luke 10:42).
4. Bolding Speaking for Justice: The Five Daughters of Zelophehad
The five daughters of Zelophehad—Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah—were bold. They came before Moses, Eleazar the priest, and the leaders of Israel and petitioned for a portion of land to be given to them so that their family name would not be forgotten in Israel. Their father had died in the wilderness, and there was no son to continue the family line and inherit the land. It was a sign of blessing to be included in the promised land with God’s people—and a sign of curse to be left out of the land.
These women realized there was no reason for their family to be left out of the promised land simply because their father had died in the wilderness. They saw a just cause and addressed it. God honored their request, and they were given land in Israel. Their boldness was also used by God to address how a family’s inheritance would be secured if a man had no sons (Num. 27:1-11). Not only did these single women address their own needs, but their courage affected future generations who would face similar problems. These women wanted to live in God’s land of promise and to ensure that promise for future generations.
5. Hospitable and Hard Working: Serving Jesus along the Way
Martha (of Bethany) and several other women who followed Jesus were hospitable—welcoming the Lord and his disciples into their homes and caring for them. These women served others with their hands and energy (Luke 8:1-3). Yet, they were not immune to pain and suffering. Martha, her sister Mary, and her brother Lazarus were close friends of Jesus. Yet even though Jesus was an intimate friend of the family—a friend she could send for in a crisis—this did not mean Martha lived a carefree life. She knew the pain and grief of her brother’s death. Even so, she clung to Jesus Christ and trusted him (John 11:5, 27).
There are many narratives of valiant women in the Scriptures. These women had their own stories, struggles, and lives. They lived real lives of hardship and pain, but each clung to God in those struggles. They weren’t perfect women, but they were faithful women who used the gifts God had given them to accomplish his purposes. Their lives are not idealized but are full of the imperfections and pain of living in a broken world. As such, they offer encouragement and hope to Christians today as we cling to God’s promises through the hardships of life.
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One of the things that disturbs me most in life is having to drive down a backwoods road in Southeast Georgia behind a truck (and it’s always a truck!) going 20 miles under the speed limit with black smoke pouring out of the tail pipe. It’s not simply the fact that I know that the carbon monoxide is knocking a few hours or days off my life. Neither is it merely the fact that I can’t pass him on this particular stretch of road. What bothers me as much or more than both of those things is that it would literally take two minutes for the driver to check the dipstick to see if there was oil in his car, and it would take 30 minutes to change the oil.
Add to that the fact that it wouldn’t even take an entire minute for him to look at the speedometer, and in the rearview mirror, to see if he was selfishly holding someone up. Yet, as I confess my frustration, I find an analogy for my own life. Too often I find that I am the driver of the truck with the black smoke billowing out of my spirit. What I need more than anything is to pull over and do a spirit-check.
There’s an account in the Gospels in which Jesus has just sent the disciples into a city of Samaria in order to receive him while he was on his way to the cross. When the city rejected Christ, James and John come back with black smoke billowing out of their hearts. Luke tells us:
When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. And he sent messengers ahead of him, who went and entered a village of the Samaritans, to make preparations for him. But the people did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. And when his disciples James and John saw it, they said, “Lord, do you want us to tell fire to come down from heaven and consume them?” But he turned and rebuked them.And they went on to another village. (Luke 9:51-56)
Though James and John had reached back into the Scriptures in order to justify their response, Jesus rebuked them. It is actually quite possible for us to be actively engaged in gospel ministry and yet have a heart that is contrary to the gospel. It is possible for us to care about justice and yet have a bitter and vitriolic spirit. It is possible for someone to care about holiness while having a heart that is silently (or vocally) delighting in the fall of a brother or sister in Christ. The same brothers whom Jesus rebukes for wanting the destruction of others rather than the salvation of others will, in due time, reveal that they were also using Jesus to get to the top (Mark 10:37). If two of the choicest apostles of Jesus could need “a spirit-check,” I certainly need to pull over before I say, write, or do just about anything.
It’s interesting that in the account of Luke 9:51-56, James and John have not actually said or done anything to hurt someone. It is what they say to Jesus that reveals what spirit was in them. As the old saying goes, “the matter of the heart is the heart of the matter” or, as Proverbs reminds us, “Above all things keep the heart, for out of it flows the issues of life” (Prov. 4:23).
There are so many applications of this principle that even the world itself is not big enough to contain all the volumes that would have to be written. Here are four basic categories of application that I believe will help all believers:
1. Before you draw conclusions about someone, based on something that they have said or done, check your spirit.
It is actually quite possible to “answer” a matter in your mind and heart before you hear the totality of the facts. Add to this the fact that Scripture tells us that “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8) and that “it is [a man’s] glory to overlook a transgression” (Prov. 19:11). This should factor into our heart responses toward all others—especially within the household of faith. In Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 we read,
Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.
2. Before you speak about anyone, check your spirit.
The Bible is replete with warnings about jealousy, envy, and hatred that are manifested in gossip, slander, and division. A heart that is silently harboring any of these sinful motives will necessarily overflow with sinful words and responses:
“The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45)
The Gospel is the cure for this. When we realize how sinful we are and of how much Christ has forgiven us, we will be quick to pray for others and guard against speaking evil of them. If we fall, we will go to the Lord and then to the people we have spoken to and/or about to seek forgiveness (1 John 1:8-2:1). This is a prime time for a spirit check.
3. Before you write about anyone, check your spirit.
The rise of the internet has revealed how many hearts there are with black smoke billowing out of them. You can hardly scroll through Twitter or Facebook for two minutes without coming across another blog that is systematically seeking to destroy the reputation of a minister who has fallen into sin(s). This does not mean that we are never to speak or write about the sin of others, but we need to check our spirits before we do. I get the feeling that far too many have the spirit of James and John when they write about this minister or that minister. Of course, false teachers, prosperity-gospel ministers, and consumeristic church ministers are subject to public warning and uncovering.
4. Before you decide to give up on someone who has sinned against you or in public, check your spirit.
We are all far too ready to write someone off when they sin against us or fall in public. Charles Spurgeon noted how many will throw others that they once esteemed under the bus when they fall because they esteemed them for the wrong reasons. He wrote:
He who is still flattered by the companions of his pleasure can little guess the wretchedness which will be his portion should he become poor, or slanderously accused, for then one by one the parasites of his prosperity will go their way and leave him to his fate, not without cutting remarks on their part to increase his misery. Men have not so much power to bless by friendship as to curse by treachery.
The sad reality is that many of us esteem others for the wrong reasons. The psalmist noted that “you get praise when you do well for yourself” (Ps. 49:18). This is not an approving statement. It is an observation about the fickleness of the praise of men.
King David knew this better than anyone. When he was victorious in battle against the Philistines, the people praised him. When Saul chased him, they turned against him. Long after David fell into sin with Bathsheba and killed Uriah, he was being pursued by his own son Absalom. One of the striking details of the narrative of that period of David’s life is that while so many turned against him, there was one man who supported him without selfish motives.
We are told in 2 Samuel 19:31-39 that Barzillai the Gileadite provided supplies for David while he was fleeing from Absalom. When the king wanted to repay him for his kindness, Barzillai would not receive any reward. He was so selfless that he told David to reward his servant if he felt as though he needed to give something back in return for the kindness. It seems that Barzillai was a man who was in the practice of “checking his spirit.” He didn’t help David only when all was well and when David was on top. Barzillai seems to have been a man who understood the gospel, because he acted in such a way as to show that he who is forgiven of much loves much.
The gospel cures us of the black smoke of our hearts. Whenever we are tempted to draw conclusions about others hastily or unjustly, whenever we are about to speak about someone else, whenever we want to write something about someone’s sin, and whenever we have decided to give up on someone who has sinned against us or in public, we must check our spirits. While it takes only a minute, it will make all the difference in the world to us and those around us.
